Shrinked!
by TaintedMoonlight
Summary: The worst idea in the history of worst ideas, this was going to be, but Tsunade allowed it, only for the sole reason that it would provide prime entertainment. In which the young shinobi are sent to have a weeklong session with a shrink...
1. I'm Not Crazy, Maybe

**Shrinked!**

**Ch.1:** I'm Not Crazy…Maybe

* * *

"Psychological evaluation?" Tsunade asked incredulous. "That's – That's—"

"A very good idea!" Shizune exclaimed. "It sounds like a very good idea!"

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, "_Good_ idea? I don't think I agree with your definition of the word 'good', because this sounds like the stupidest idea I've ever heard."

"Now, Hokage-sama," the doctor said kindly, "I understand your reluctance, but I believe it's in the very best interest of Konohagakure to give all your young shinobi a psychological evaluation. It would provide you with great insight into your future shinobi leaders. Such a thing could be _very_ useful."

Tsunade clasped her hands together slowly. She rested her head on her hands, "You just want to see if my shinobi are as insane as you believe. You want to treat someone."

"No!" The doctor said hurriedly, "It's all for Konoha. I could care less about the money I'd get if I would treat them for a long time…"

"Tsunade-sama," Shizune said, "I think you should—"

Tsunade waved her hand in the air impatiently, "Very well, you can 'evaluate' the young shinobi so long as it doesn't interfere with their missions."

The doctor smiled, "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

"Tsunade-sama," Shizune quickly uttered, "don't you think the siblings from the village hidden in the sand would benefit from this procedure as well?"

Tsunade looked at Shizune, "You want me to ask _those_ three to participate?"

"Well, they are here in the village…"

Tsunade sighed, "Ah, very well."

The doctor respectfully bowed out. Tsunade smiled, this was going to be the funniest thing to ever happen to the village. She couldn't wait to see how the doctor reacted to the crazy, young, shinobi.

Because they were all crazy, very much so.

**xXxXx**

Kankuro stared at a sheet of paper.

"Kankuro," Temari sighed, "You've been staring at that paper for three minutes without blinking, what is it?"

He finally blinked and lowered the paper, "Absolutely ridiculous, that's what it is."

Gaara walked over to Kankuro and snatched the paper from the puppeteer's hand.

Temari slouched in her chair. "Since Kankuro isn't being responsive, what does it say, Gaara?"

The red-head blinked, "They think we're insane."

"What?" Temari asked, a slight indignant tone to her voice.

**xXxXx**

Ino waved a sheet of paper under Shikamaru's nose, "Did you get one too?"

Shikamaru groaned, "Ino, you're blocking the clouds."

"Did. You. Get. One?"

"I don't even know what you're talking about."

Chouji opened a bag of chips, "The letter requiring all the shinobi in our age group attend a 'psychological evaluation'."

Shikamaru tore his gaze from the sky to his best friend. "Are you serious?"

Ino pouted, "So you didn't get one? That isn't fair! Why do I have to go if this lazy bum doesn't?!"

"Is that letter from some doctor…"Shikamaru frowned, "…_Jealousy_?"

"EnVee." Ino clarified, "Doctor EnVee."

"I got it," Shikamaru yawned, "I just didn't read it." He fished a paper out of his pocket, "See?"

**xXxXx**

"Sakura-chan, look!" Naruto exclaimed. He was waving a sheet of paper in the air happily. "Look what I was selected for!"

"Naruto," She stressed, "Why are you so happy? Everyone in our age group got one."

"Oh…" His face fell, "Really?"

"Why so happy anyway? Why do you want to go see a shrink?"

"A…shrink…?"

Sakura placed her hands on her hips, "That's what the paper is telling you. They're checking to see if we're crazy or not."

Naruto looked at the paper, "Ah! Why would Tsunade-baachan approve of _this_?"

Sakura shrugged, "Maybe she thinks we're all crazy."

**xXxXx**

"I'm not insane." Neji muttered as soon as her finished reading the paper. Neji glanced at Hinata; the letters had just been delivered at the Hyuuga compound. "Does yours say the same thing, Hinata-sama?"

Hinata blinked, "Why…?" She looked at Neji, "Does y-yours…?" Hinata handed him her paper.

"They're the same." He frowned, "We're not insane."

"This-this…it's r-ri-rid-diculous." She stammered softly.

**xXxXx**

"Lee," Ten-Ten said in astonishment, "You can't really be happy about this. They want us to talk to some-some _doctor_ about-about how _crazy_ we are."

Lee struck the good guy pose, "It is a wonderful opportunity to show off our youthful energies!"

"Lee," Ten-Ten whined, "Get real."

"I am ready, to show those doctors just how sane I am!" Lee grinned.

Ten-Ten sighed, "Honestly, Lee."

**xXxXx**

"Ay, Akamaru," Kiba agreed with his friend, "This is ridiculous. Why should I attend? I'm perfectly sane."

Shino was reading his letter. "Is this…for real?"

"Everyone got one," Kiba muttered, "Apparently, we all need psychological assistance."

"What is Tsunade thinking?" He mumbled

"She isn't." Akamaru barked in agreement. "That lady's the one who needs help."

**xXxXx**

"Temari," Gaara muttered staring up at the building venomously. "Why are we here?"

"Because," Temari gritted her teeth, "Our presence is requested by the Hokage to attend a psychological evaluation."

"But why," Kankuro whined, "are we here? We could've refused the request. It _was_ a request."

"To prove to that old bat that we are not insane."

"Then showing up might have been a bad choice." Kankuro muttered.

"Shut up." Temari snapped.

Gaara sighed.

Temari muttered under her breath, "Stupid, measly, old, bat."

This was going to be a horrible day. He was sure of it.

**xXxXx**

"Hello! And welcome!" A very cheery blonde woman greeted them. "We've been expecting you! Oh, and you all look so rested and joyous! Here, here!" The woman shoved some papers at them. "Fill them out. Hurry! Hurry! Personal satisfaction does not wait!" The woman grinned.

"…Okay…" Shikamaru muttered, "I'll, uh, do that…"

Ino picked up the papers and dragged him and Chouji to a set of chairs. "Come on, let's fill this stuff out."

A few minutes later…

"Okay!" The chipper receptionist exclaimed happily, "Are you all ready to embark on the journey of self-discovery!? Mz. EnVee, is waiting, come along." She paused and placed a hand on Chouji shoulder, "Oh sorry! No food allowed." She pointed to the bag of chips.

Chouji looked at his food, "But…they're limited edition chips…"

"So-Ree!" She sang.

Chouji mournfully chucked the bag of chips in the trash. "This is the worst…"

**xXxXx**

"WOW! You two filled these forms out fast!"

"Y-Yeah…" Sakura muttered, "I'm used to filling out…forms…"

"That's great!! Aren't you excited to meet the wonderful Doctor EnVee!!"

"Are you…Okay?" Naruto asked her with a scared look on his face.

"Okay! OKAY! I'm better than okay! I'm happy! Mz. EnVee has changed me into the person you see before you!!" The receptionist declared cheerfully.

Sakura backed away slowly.

"I hope she doesn't change us…" Naruto muttered uneasily.

**xXxXx**

"Oh, Kami, how did I get pulled into this?" Ten Ten asked wearily as Lee and the receptionist exchanged words. "I should have come with Neji and Hinata."

Rock Lee's eyes widened in glee, "Yes!"

"Exactly!" The receptionist exclaimed, "Aren't you excited!?"

"Here we are in the prime of our youth on this joyous day to start the journey of ultimate happiness! This is _fantastic_!"

"_ALL RIGHT_! Let's start our journey!!"

"Hai!" Lee responded.

**xXxXx**

"Isn't it wonderful!?" The blonde woman exclaimed loudly two inches in front of Hinata's face.

Hinata squeaked and hid behind Neji.

"Oh, Kami! Two young lovers, embarking on the journey of happiness! HOW WONDEROUS!!"

Neji eyes bulged, "We're not…_lovers_." Both looked appalled at the thought. "She's my—"

"YOU SHOULD BE!" She exclaimed, "Let's start our journey to discover your love! Mz. EnVee will love treating you two!!"

"She needs to be on medication…" Hinata whispered quietly behind Neji.

**xXxXx**

"YOU SHOULD BE ECSTATIC, CHILDREN!!" She grinned. "This will mark the beginning of life for you as you know it! This will change your perception forever!!"

"No, I've already had one of those." Gaara stated, "I'm good."

"THIS WILL BE BETTER THAN ANYTHING ELSE! All you demented children will find happiness once and for all!"

"HEY!" Temari yelled furiously, "Don't you go calling _my_ brothers demented you demented witch!"

The woman grinned widely, "Ah, we have an angry child! Don't worry dearie! Soon you'll love everyone and will never yell again!!"

Kankuro glanced at the nutty receptionist, "Can you really do that to her? Cause if you will I'll give this crap a try."

"KANKURO!" Temari screeched.

"Be happy! Happy, happy, happy! Everything will make you happy once Mz. EnVee treats you! Don't you worry dearies. We'll fix you all!!"

Gaara eyed her carefully, "Has…EnVee treated you…?"

"Yes! Can you not see what a wonderful job she's done!?"

"Temari," Gaara said to his sister, "Can we still refuse to accept treatment and never come back again?"

"No. We will prove to that bat we are not crazy!"

"Won't be too hard," Kankuro muttered, "If everyone's as fucked up as this lady."

"HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY! WE LOVE TO BE HAPPY!!"

**xXxXx**

"…Umm…" Kiba said nervously, "I, uh, heard what you told the people before us…so can we, um, skip the…pep talk?"

"Pep talk!" The blonde receptionist cooed, "You haven't had a pep talk until—"

"Ms. EnVee treats us." Shino interrupted, "We got the gist of it."

"OH, she's a wonderful doctor! She does wonders! You just wait!"

Akamaru started barking, "Ay, Akamaru, hush," Kiba murmured, "I know she's…batty, but be quiet."

"No pets!" She said happily.

"…But…Akamaru is…"

She grinned, "Those are the rules!"

He looked at her, "You're too happy to be working here. Let me take Akamaru in and I won't tell the doctor you're secretly stealing people's medication."

"_Me_? Why I would never." She wagged her finger in Kiba's face. "Bad boy, trying to blackmail, Mz. EnVee will LOVE to treat you. Now, I said it before, _no pets_!"

Kiba looked at Akamaru, "But…"

"His problems are with the dog," Shino muttered, "I assume EnVee would like to become acquainted with Akamaru if Kiba's psychological problems are with him."

"YES!"

Kiba and Shino backed away a bit.

"That's perfectly acceptable!" An insanely wide grin was on her face, "Well, let's begin this WONDEROUS journey!!"

* * *

**A/N:** How is it so far? As bad as I think? Should I continue? 


	2. Session 1: Violent Women

**Shrinked!**

**Ch.2:** Session 1 –Violent Women

A grumbling Temari was sitting on a blue couch with her legs crossed. Her leg was jumping up and down sporadically and her fingers were drumming across the iron fan sitting on her lap. "_'Come back at ten-thirty,'_ she says, _'we'll have you poor, twisted creatures fixed soon.'_ She says." The blonde grumbled angrily, "That receptionist is batty; the doctor is probably just as nuts! How are we supposed to get 'fixed' if the doctor needs to get fixed? Not that we need fixing, mind you, we are perfectly—"

"Temari," Kankuro groaned, "_Shut up_!" The puppeteer was currently examining a bookcase behind the couch Temari and Gaara were seated on.

Temari glared at her brother, "Baka, I can say whatever I want!"

Kankuro rolled his eyes, "You—"

"Enough." Gaara rasped. The young boy slouched and looked at the wall bitterly. "It's bad enough I'm here, you two need to quit arguing about stupid things. It doesn't help any."

"We wouldn't be arguing if Temari hadn't dragged us here in the first place." Kankuro countered, "So, _she's_ to blame for everything."

Temari opened her mouth to retort when the door to the room slammed open loudly. Gaara jumped slightly in surprise. Kankuro impulsively kicked and knocked over the bookcase. Temari froze and gripped her fan tightly.

"I'm _here_!" A loud, blonde boy exclaimed to no one in particular, "Let's get this over with!"

A fist connected with the loud person's head, "Naruto! Shut up!"

Naruto rubbed his head gently, "…Sakura-chan…" He whined

Temari loosened her grip on her fan. "What…What are you doing…?"

Sakura looked around the room for the first time, "Temari-san! What are you doing here?"

"Oh, yeah," Kankuro muttered sarcastically, "Gaara and I simply don't exist."

"Yeah, but it's understandable as to why you two would be here." Naruto said.

"What did you say, you brat!?" Kankuro exclaimed.

"I _said_—"

"Shut. Up." Gaara said coldly. "Do _not_ make me say it again."

Kankuro grumbled incoherently. Naruto crossed his arms and did the same. The blonde boy took a seat on a matching blue couch across from Gaara and Temari. Sakura tentatively sat down next to him, eying Gaara carefully.

Temari grinned, "Gaara gets annoyed when people yell. He has a very low tolerance. Unless _he's_ yelling, he gets irritated. I really don't know how he puts up with me and Kankuro."

Gaara closed his eyes, "I have to. You're my siblings."

Sakura smiled thinly, and Naruto's face broke out into a wide grin, "You've gotten soft, Gaara. A while ago, you just would've killed us all."

Gaara scoffed, but said nothing.

"So," Sakura began, "Why are you guys here?"

"I'd kind of like to know the same thing about you two." Temari replied.

Kankuro, finally having managed to pick up all the books he'd dropped, plopped down on the couch between his two siblings. He'd dropped onto the seat so forcefully Gaara and Temari jumped up a bit. Gaara opened his eyes momentarily to glare at his brother then closed them again. Kankuro ignored the glare. "We're here because Temari's upset about a letter the Hokage sent requesting we attend. Temari is _convinced_ the Hokage thinks we're insane, so she decided we should show up to prove her wrong. Although I think showing up will have the opposite reaction than the one she desires."

Temari swatted him painfully with her hand, "If you aren't going to say anything positive don't say anything at all."

The door slammed shut, "Wonderful motto, that is." A tall, raven-haired, muddy-brown eyed woman in an uncreased, clean, white coat said cheerfully. She had a few light freckles and large, brown-rimmed frames. Her hair was pulled up into a sharp bun. "Hello, hello, children. I am Dr. Eira EnVee." She took a seat in the brown, rigid armchair at the head of the blue couches and examined the papers on her clipboard. "Now then, what would your names be?" She nodded to Naruto, "You first."

"Uzumaki Naruto. Can we hurry with this crap? I'm getting hungry and I've training to do!"

The doctor smiled, "And you, child?"

"Haruno Sakura."

"Sabakuno Temari."

"Sabakuno Kankuro."

EnVee looked at Gaara, "And you, dear?"

Gaara opened his eyes and stared at her impassively."…None of your business…"

EnVee raised an eyebrow, "Oh?" She looked at the papers before her, "If I'm correct you and your siblings weren't required to participate. Why did you show up if you had no intention of even trying to cooperate?'

Gaara watched her analytically, "Because…Temari…"

"'Temari'? What do you mean?"

Gaara's eyes showed annoyance and boredom, "…"

EnVee sighed, "Ah, well."

Temari leaned forward slightly, "His name is Gaara. He doesn't really like strangers. You'll be lucky to get more than a minute's worth of conversation from him."

Gaara closed his eyes again.

"Well," The therapist said authoritatively, "I think the proper exercise to begin with is some sharing time. Where we all share one thing we like and one thing we dislike with the group. Sakura, why don't you go first?"

"Uh…Okay? Well, I…I like…blueberry muffins…Especially in the morning and at midnight." she added thoughtfully. "Everything tastes better at midnight. And…uh…I dislike…spiders!" She shivered, "They are so creepy."

"Me next! Me next!" Naruto exclaimed happily, jumping up and down on the couch. "Okay, I LOVE Ichiraku Ramen." Naruto's eyes got big and shiny, "It's delicious and I _really_ don't like it when they close early. What am I supposed to eat when they close early!?" He finished hysterically.

"Normal food," Kankuro grumbled.

Temari swatted the back of his head with her hand, "Shut up."

The therapist eyed the exchange curiously, "Okay. Next, uh, Temari?"

The blonde girl shifted, "I…dislike people asking me stupid questions," She gave the therapist as light glare, "and I like…lilies."

"Kankuro, how about you?"

The puppeteer sighed, "I like my puppets and I dislike my siblings' attempts to boss me around."

Temari straightened, "I do not—"

"Temari," EnVee said slowly, carefully, and warmly, "You yourself have just scolded your brother for making comments to what other people have to share. We are not here to insult or respond negatively to other people's feelings and ideas." Temari slouched and grumbled under her breath. EnVee smiled, "Your turn, Gaara."

The red-headed boy opened his eyes and glared angrily at the therapist.

"Gaara, I would really appreciate it if you participated."

Sand swirled menacingly around the therapist's ankles.

"Gaara," Temari sat up and gave Gaara a warning look, "Don't even think about it.

Gaara looked at his sister innocently, "Think about what?"

"You _know_ what."

"Just once?" He whined, "On her only, I swear."

"NO! Kankuro, tell him he can't."

Kankuro scoffed, "Like he listens to me. He barely listens to you."

"Because she's nice about it." Gaara said stubbornly, "And you – you're annoying when you try to tell me what to do." He glanced at Temari pleadingly. "_Just once_?" He asked meekly.

"No, and that's—"

"Temari," EnVee interrupted, "It's not nice to suppress your brother's feelings. It's the only way—"

"DON'T," Kankuro said to Gaara suddenly, "listen to the quack. She's a _therapist_, what does she know? Don't act on your feelings and do what you want to do."

"If you want to stay alive," Temari said to EnVee gravely, "you'd damn well better tell him to suppress his feelings. Your choice, lady."

The therapist looked taken aback, "Ah…" She rummaged through her papers. "OH! You're the murderous, unstable one!"

Gaara glared at the woman, "Just _once_, Temari? _Once_?"

"_No_."

EnVee cleared her throat, "So, you're likes and dislikes, Gaara?"

There was a moment of silence before the boy spoke, "I strongly dislike you and I would like to desert funeral you, but apparently I'm not allowed."

"…Okay." EnVee fumbled with her papers, "I think, now we should…mmm…talk…about…how you all feel."

Naruto raised his hand up excitedly, "Me first!"

"…Okay, Naruto, go ahead."

"I _feel_ that Sakura-chan should go out on a date with me!" Sakura growled and punched Naruto in the head again. "Oww…Sakura-chan, that's so mean…"

"Why does _she_ get to act on her irritation?" Gaara asked bitterly.

"Because," Temari said simply, "she's a girl."

"What does that have to do with anything?!" The boy asked exasperatedly.

"It—" Temari began.

"Girls are nuts, that's why." Kankuro interrupted. Temari picked up her fan from her lap and smacked Kankuro across the head with it. "_Dammit_, Temari! That hurts!"

"You cuss or say something like that again and I'll hit you even harder." She threatened

Kankuro rubbed his head and directed his attention to the therapist. "You see how damned violent she is?! Women are supposed to be fucking nice and all she does is attack me and burn our food! ...Well on rare occasions she _does_ attack Gaara too, but never as much as me—_OWW_!" He rubbed his head again as Temari placed the fan back in her lap. "That's the same place you hit me before!!"

Temari just smiled cruelly, "And I 'attack' _you_ more, because Gaara doesn't provoke me!"

"Well, since everyone's attacking someone," Gaara said innocently and kindly, "Can I—"

_Smack_! "NO!" Gaara now had a large red welt on his arm. Temari had been aiming for his head but he'd managed to protect it with the arm. He didn't know why, maybe Shukaku was sadistic, but whenever Temari attacked him the sand didn't protect him. He'd told his siblings on countless times that he had a defective demon and wanted to replace it with one that protected him from _all_ harm, including Temari's violent tendencies.

"SEE!" Kankuro exclaimed, "She hit _his_ arm, but _my head_ got hit!!"

"BECAUSE HE HAD THE SENSE TO PROTECT HIS HEAD!!" Temari screamed.

Naruto looked at Temari, "…Women are scary vultures…"

Both Temari and Sakura glared at him, "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" They screeched.

Naruto chuckled nervously, carefully edging away from both irate girls, "…Nothing?"

The therapist meanwhile was scribbling on her papers furiously.

The arguments and attacks went on for quite a long time. Gaara didn't open his mouth again for the duration of the yelling period, instead the small boy kept sinking lower and lower in his seat and his left eye was twitching uncontrollably. Finally, the young boy burst, "DAMMIT! WHY THE _HELL_ DOES EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM GET TO ATTACK, INSULT, AND YELL AT SOMEONE ELSE EXCEPT ME!! EVEN SHUKAKU ISN'T TALKING TO ME!!" Gaara paused to regain his breath, he was breathing incredibly hard. "I. Want. To. Go. _Now_."

Temari blinked. Kankuro's jaw dropped. Sakura was hiding behind a couch. Naruto was hugging a pillow and was seated at the very edge of the couch. The therapist seemed to be going into a state of shock.

Temari spoke first, "Oh – Okay, Gaara. We'll go back…to the hotel."

EnVee cleared her throat, "Yes, we should end here for today. I have an assignment for you before your next meeting, though…" She looked at the three sand siblings, "Will you three be…showing up again…?"

Temari looked nervously at Gaara, "I don't think we—"

"Yes." Gaara said firmly, "We will."

Kankuro raised an eyebrow, "You sure?"

"Yes."

"Very well," EnVee cleared her throat, "in that case," she handed the five of them a sheet of paper each. "There are two topics on that paper, I would like you all to write at least one hundred words on both topics and we'll share them with each other next time. My receptionist will call you to tell you when your next meeting will be."

"What kind of topics are these!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Naruto, shut up!" Sakura nagged. "Just do what you're told!"

Naruto grumbled bitterly.


	3. Session 1: Insults and Pep Talks

**Ch.3:** Session 1 – Insults and Pep Talks

* * *

The only thing that could be heard was the sound of a bag of chips opening, followed by munching. 

"Chouji! I can't believe you snuck in more chips! You heard that lady: _no food allowed_!"

"Yeah, but," More munching, "that lady was clearly off her rocker."

"Chouji, you shouldn't eat so much, no—"

"Oh, shut up with that already, Ino." Shikamaru grumbled lazily. The lazy boy was sitting on the floor leaning against the blue couch that Ino and Chouji were seated on.

"Now, now," A chipper voice scolded happily, "We shouldn't tell our friends to shut up. Then they bottle up how they really feel inside."

"Ino never bottles anything up, no matter what people tell her." Chouji said confidently. "She always says how and what she feels about everything."

Ino blinked. "I'm trying to decide if that was an insult of a compliment."

"See?" Chouji said to the psychiatrist. He turned to look at Ino, "And it was a compliment."

Ino had diverted her attention to the therapist and was eyeing her critically. "You look atrocious."

The woman raised an eyebrow, "To each is his own."

"And your outfit looks disgusting."

The therapist smiled calmly, "I am Dr. EnVee. And we'll begin as soon as the rest of our party show up."

"Rest of our party?" asked Ino.

"Yes," EnVee said impatiently, "Since there are so many of you children, I've split you into three groups: your group is missing two people right now."

Ino sighed impatiently, "And who would these people be?"

The door creaked open. "Sorry we're late." A tall, pale, white-eyed boy said apologetically. A small framed girl with the same white eyes as the boy and indigo hair walked in behind him.

"Ah," EnVee said happily, "Now we can begin. Let's start with introductions yes? I will be your therapist, Doctor EnVee." She smiled brightly, "And you all would be…?"

"Yamanaka Ino."

"Akamichi Chouji."

"Hyuuga Neji."

"Hyuuga Hinata."

The four shinobi and the therapist turned to look at Shikamaru. The young boy's eyes were closed peacefully. Ino pursed her lips. "Shikamaru!" She yelled. "Dammit, Shikamaru! WAKE UP!"

The boy didn't move.

Ino smacked his head with her hand. "WAKE UP, BAKA!"

The lazy ninja's eyes opened lazily and he yawned. He rubbed his head. "What are we doing?"

"Intro-ductions!" Ino clarified rather irritated. "Honestly, Shikamaru, what is wrong with you?"

"Uh…" He yawned again. "Are we barely there?"

"You're name?" EnVee asked.

"Nara…" Another yawn. "…Shikamaru…"

EnVee wrote something on the papers on the clipboard before her. "Let's get to know each other better, yes? How about you all tell me one thing you like and one thing you dislike. Let's start with…"

"Me. Of course." Ino interrupted. "I like all kinds of flowers; they smell so nice and look so gorgeous. My family runs a flower shop which I help out in quite a lot. Flowers are so pretty and I know just about everything about them. And I very much dislike fishnet shirts;" She gave Shikamaru a pointed look, "they are _so_ out of style."

Shikamaru yawned. "Nice try, Ino. Still isn't working and I still won't wear any of the shirts you bought me."

"But they are in style!!" She exclaimed. "Just try it. You look so dorky with that lame shirt you have underneath the Chuunin jacket."

"No."

"DAMMIT, SHIKAMARU!"

"No."

"I WILL TELL YOUR MOTHER!"

He straightened and looked at Ino. "That's low."

Chouji paused shoveling chips in his mouth. "Even I have to admit that was low, Ino."

Ino crossed her arms and grumbled. "He needs to stop wearing that dorky shirt."

"I-Ino-san," Hinata mumbled quietly, "isn't it his ch-choice what he chooses to w-wear? Ev-Even if it is r-rude not to wear something you pi-picked out for him?"

"SEE!" Ino exclaimed. "Hinata said it's rude!"

"She also said it was his choice." Neji responded monotonously, looking as if this was the most boring thing he'd ever had to do.

"It's not _his_ choice. When I buy him something – when I waste _my_ money on a friend, that damn friend better wear or use whatever the hell I bought for them! And that includes Shikamaru." She glared at the shadow-nin. "Why can't you be like Chouji? He uses and wears what I buy him."

"Because Chouji a pacifist. He likes it when everyone's happy, including you. I on the other hand," He closed his eyes, "could care less."

"DAMMIT—"

"Yamanaka," Neji said clearly, "I'm not normally rude, but _shut_ the hell up. Your voice is puncturing my eardrums. So, he doesn't wear your damn shirts, get over it, you preppy princess."

"OH, YOU – I AM NOT—"

"Okay then," EnVee said cheerfully, "Let's move on. Well…Shikamaru, how about you? What do you like and dislike?"

He yawned, "I like watching clouds and dislike troublesome situations."

"Chouji?" EnVee inquired

"I dislike when someone steals the last potato chip and I like barbeque food."

"Neji?"

"I am not obligated to respond."

"Come, now, Neji." EnVee prodded. "Share with the group."

"I don't think I want to."

"Neji, be a dear, don't make this difficult, it's just an easy question."

"Before you say no again," Shikamaru said lazily, "She might shut up if you just answer the question." His eyes were closed and he looked perfectly at ease. "Just a thought. It's not like it's a very personal question anyway."

There was a moment of silence before Neji spoke. "I'm starting to dislike you and I like tea."

EnVee smiled platonically, "Thank you for participating Neji." She turned to face Hinata. "And you, dearie?"

"I-I like…spending time in my herb garden and-and I d-dis-dislike…arguments…"

The therapist scribbled in her papers. "I see. Well now that that's over, shall we talk? How are you five feeling today? Anything you would like to discuss?"

Silence greeted her.

"Anyone?" She clucked her tongue. "Neji? How do you feel today?"

The stoic Hyuuga crossed his arms. "I feel nothing. I want to discuss nothing. May I go now?"

"Surely you must feel something?"

"Nothing."

She smiled. "Okay, then." EnVee then wrote some more on her clipboard with a strange smile on her face.

A smile Hinata distinctly thought was very evil: reminiscent of killing a bird, or at the very least crushing someone's flowers. But maybe that was just her overreacting. "D-Don't … do th-that." Hinata stuttered.

EnVee smiled warmly, "Do what?"

" …."

She arched an eyebrow and wrote some more, the same smile on her face.

"That!" D-Don't d-do that…" Hinata said softly. "We're n-not c-cr-crazy. We a-aren't…"

EnVee leaned forward, "Are you sure about that, Hinata?"

Hinata blushed, "I…"

Ino stood up angrily and threw her hands in the air, "Of course she's sure! NONE of us are insane. As a matter of fact I think _you're_ insane. No one dresses like you and styles their look like you and turns out sane. We are sane! Sane, sane, _sane_!"

"So you're…_angry_ that you have to be here talking with me?"

"Of co—"

"Don't answer that," Shikamaru muttered lazily, having shifted his position from leaning against the couch to lying on the floor, his hands behind his head, with his eyes closed. "Trick question. She's venturing into how you feel so you'll discuss 'things' with her, and if I recall correctly you came to this meeting with no intention of discussing your feelings."

Ino sat down and sulked.

The therapist eyed Shikamaru, "Well aren't you clever."

Neji rolled his eyes, "Clever? A person would have to be an idiot not to realize what you were doing."

Ino straightened, "What are you calling me?!"

"I would assume that was obvious."

"N-Neji-niisan…" Hinata murmured, "That's r-rude…"

Ino's fists clenched, "Why you pretentious, arrogant…ASS!"

"Ino," Chouji said, carefully edging away from the blonde, "Maybe you should calm down. Ignore him, you know?"

"You think you're so great," Ino prattled on angrily, "just because you're called a genius! Well I don't care! You're just a snobby, mean—"

"C-Can…we…n-not ar-argue?" Hinata whispered shyly.

"_Not_ argue!? Your dickhead of a cousin insulted me!"

Hinata twiddled her fingers, "He's not…a…what you said…"

"Of course he is! Quit being such a stupid, shy, doormat! It's not like he can hurt you anyway! He's not allowed because he's _lower_ than you." Ino smirked at Neji when she said the last bit.

Neji's eyes darkened angrily, "You—"

"Don't say that!" Hinata said rather loudly. Everyone turned up to stare at her. Even Shikamaru sat up and looked at the shy Hyuuga heiress. Hinata's voice never rose above a murmur and here was a rather loud outburst. It was almost a yell. "He's not lower than anyone. Especially me." Hinata said firmly. She then cast her eyes down and her voice returned to its soft murmur. "Everyone's better than me."

Shikamaru opened his mouth to protest, "Hinata that's not true."

"Yes it is."

Neji uncrossed his arms and rolled his eyes at his cousin. "You really are an idiot sometimes, Hinata-sama. I'm only going to say this once, so listen: you are _not_ worse than anyone. You are strong and determined and have potential. You are better than many; you just need to believe in yourself. So quit degrading yourself. It's beyond irritating."

Ino scoffed. "Oh, _please_!"

Chouji looked at her in numb shock dropping a few chips in the process. Hinata hung her head and twiddled her fingers. Shikamaru sighed in irritation and rolled his eyes.

Neji glared at the blonde. "Don't even, Yamanka. Out of everyone in this room; out of everyone taking these stupid lessons you are the weakest."

"I am NOT!"

"Say what you will, but that won't change anything."

"Listen you—" Ino began angrily.

"Enough _arguing_." Chouji mumbled. "Anyone want chips?"

"Chips, I don't – Neji is – Why aren't you on my side!?!"

Shikamaru yawned, "Ino, I hope you realize that the quack is writing down everything you say."

True enough, EnVee was scribbling away like mad.

"Well, this sucks." Chouji crumpled up the empty chip bag. "If we were trying to prove we weren't crazy, I'd say we're doing a bad job."

Hinata smiled, "Terrible, really."

Neji crossed his arms and looked dejectedly at the wall. Ino gripped the couch firmly and pressed her lips together. Shikamaru just yawned.

"Well," EnVee said calmly, "I have an assignment for you. Before your next session, I would like you all," EnVee passed out a sheet of paper to each, "to write about the topics on the paper. The receptionist will call you to notify you of the time and day of your next session, okay?"

They grumbled their agreements and walked out.

* * *

**A/N:** I don't think I liked this chapter very much… 


	4. Session 1: Cake and Coffee

**Ch.4:** Session 1 – Cake and Coffee

* * *

Lee was happily zipping about the room exclaiming over-excited phrases about youthful energies and great chances to prove oneself. Ten-Ten was lying on the blue couch face up with her eyes closed and her hand over resting over her forehead. 

Her head was pounding loudly. "This is irritating. How did I get stuck here?" She opened her eyes briefly and looked at Lee, "Lee, please stop that, they're going to kill you if you continue." She had a headache. She did not deserve to be in some quack's office when she had a headache.

"Kill me? Why that's—"

"Absolutely right." Kiba growled. Akamaru barked in agreement. "You are _too_ peppy. You remind me of that damned receptionist." Kiba was sitting on the blue couch opposite of Ten-Ten, Akamaru resting on his lap.

"Come, now," Ten-Ten muttered exasperatedly to Lee, "just stand still and quit acting like-like…"

"You're on drugs aren't you?" Kiba accused Lee. "That's why you're here, because you steal drugs from some poor old lady and become that chipper and…It makes sense why _you're_ here, I just don't get why _I_ have to be here as well."

The door opened revealing a smiling EnVee. "Ah, good. We're all here on time."

"Except you." Ten-Ten muttered.

"Excuse me?" She asked politely.

Ten-Ten sat up and eyed the doctor, trying to gauge what would happen if she got the quack mad it would end up biting her in the ass later. "_You_ are late." She said simply.

"Ah, yes," She said smiling, "my fault. My last session ran long so it took me while to file the paperwork."

Ten-Ten bit back her retort. Angering a crazy doctor didn't sound like a good idea; it would probably get her labeled as insane out of spite.

"Let's get started!" Lee exclaimed passionately. "I can wait to—" Lee cradled his head, a large bump starting to form at the very top. Lee turned to look at Ten-Ten who had a wooden staff poised delicately in her hands.

"Whoops!" She said innocently. "Slipped."

Kiba laughed.

Shino just sat sullenly beside Kiba as emotionless as ever. At least that's how it appeared, as if anyone could really tell if he were smiling or not. The jacket top hid any sign of emotion on his lips.

"Well," EnVee cleared her throat, "shall we begin?"

She was only greeted with one enthusiastic 'yes' and ominous silence. She smiled, "So, my name is Eira EnVee, why don't you all tell me yours?" She pointed at Ten-Ten.

The girl straightened. "Uh…my name is Ten-Ten…"

"Inuzaka Kiba"

"Rock Lee!" He exclaimed enthusiastically. "I am a green beast of Konoha and I—" Ten-Ten hit his shoulder with her staff.

"Let others speak, yeah?"

Lee rubbed his shoulder. "You're very violent today. I don't suppose that was an accident too?"

EnVee took some notes on the clipboard before her with a sinister smile. "And your name?"

"Aburame Shino…"

"Shino," she said with a smile, "wouldn't you like to take off your glasses and coat? It's not sunny in here, so there's no need for glasses and it's most certainly not cold."

"No." He said monotonously.

EnVee raised an eyebrow and penned something on her papers. "Well, let us start with sharing. I want everyone in this room to tell me something they like and dislike. Ah…Shino, why don't you begin?"

There was a minute of silence before he spoke. "I like insects and dislike chocolate."

"Chocolate!?" Ten-Ten exclaimed indignantly. "How can you dislike chocolate?! It's the _best_ invention in the entire snack and food industry. It's chocolate! You can't not like chocolate."

"He doesn't like cake either." Kiba added. "I always told him that wasn't normal."

Now Lee butt in. "You don't like cake? _Any_ kind of cake?"

"…No…" He replied.

"B-but…" Ten-Ten spluttered. "Do you like _any_ kind of sweet?"

"…Cupcakes."

"That's cake!" She declared hysterically.

"…But…it's tiny."

"It's still cake!"

"Tiny cake."

"You are—" Ten-Ten began

EnVee who'd been writing haphazardly in her notebook, interrupted Ten-Ten calmly. "We should all relax. Everyone must have their turn. Let's move on from Shino, shall we? Why don't you tell us what you like and dislike, Ten-Ten?"

"B-But-But…" She crossed her arms stubbornly. "Fine. I dislike corn and _I_ like cake. That includes mini _and_ large ones because they're _all_ cake! And anyone who says otherwise is—"

"Ten-Ten," Lee said calmly, "maybe you should leave him alone. So he likes cupcakes and dislikes cake; who cares?"

"I care! They're all cake! He should like or dislike them all, dammit!"

"Ten-Ten," EnVee said sweetly, "Why do you think you—"

"Don't shrink me." She threatened. "I'm perfectly sane. Shrink Shino. He's the one with the problems." Ten-Ten lay back down. "I mean, _shoot_," she muttered, "He doesn't like chocolate. How can _that_ be sane?"

"See?" Kiba grinned at Shino. "She agrees with me about your cake and chocolate issues."

"They're not issues." He grumbled. "And as unbelievable as it is she's louder and more hysterical than you've ever been about it."

EnVee cleared her throat loudly. "Ah, well, let's continue. Kiba? Your likes and dislikes?"

"I like—"

"He likes eating dog biscuits." Shino interrupted monotonously.

Kiba glared a Shino. "I like being with Akamaru and dislike broccoli."

"I like broccoli." Rock Lee said happily

Kiba frowned and Akamaru barked. "But it's green and all tree-ish." He complained.

"Exactly! Isn't that wonderful!" Rock Lee grinned. "It's almost as tasty as asparagus."

Kiba recoiled in disgust. He looked at EnVee. "Oi, Doc? Can I change people? Everyone in this room is insane."

"I'm not insane." Ten-Ten protested.

Kiba shrugged. "You sure yell a lot about something as stupid as cake for a sane person."

Ten-Ten smirked, "At least I don't have dog issues."

Kiba straightened. "_Dog_ issues?"

"You think you're a dog."

"I don't think I'm—"

Lee grinned, hoping to pacify them, "Why don't we all calm down and start over?"

"No." Ten-Ten said stubbornly. "I hate this place. I will not start over, dammit. And I hate you people."

"You're very rude." Shino muttered.

"It's not my fault!" She exclaimed. "Lee woke me up at three in the morning, when I had barely fallen asleep at midnight! He took me 'training' with him and I failed to have my coffee. No one wanted to serve me some damned coffee!!" Ten-Ten slumped. "I want my coffee, dammit." She sulked bitterly.

EnVee paused her fervent writing. "So you feel like you can't survive without coffee, Ten-Ten?"

Ten-Ten glared at the woman. "I feel like you're pissing me off, lady."

"Ten-Ten hostility is—"

"Dammit! Stop shrinking me lady. I am sane. I am fucking sane!"

"Profanity, my dear, is the sign of a diseased mind trying to express itself."

Ten-Ten's mouth gaped open.

Lee looked at EnVee. "How are you supposed to be helping us when you're insulting us?"

"She's not helping us…" Kiba grumbled as Akamaru growled at EnVee. "This quack just wants money out of us."

"I'm sane, dammit." Ten-Ten muttered under her breath. "Why don't _you_ seek counseling?"

"And how do you feel, Kiba?" EnVee inquired.

"Like I want to go home. We _all_ want to go home."

"Including Akamaru?" The therapist pressed.

"There's nothing crazy about my relationship with Akamaru."

"Can I hit her with my staff?" Ten-Ten asked suddenly in a very sweet innocent tone.

"Be my guest." Shino said.

"Would be offended if you didn't." Kiba growled.

"Lee?" Ten-Ten asked.

"I want to say yes, but we could get in trouble…And if I say yes, I'll know you'll do it. You minus coffee equals bad…"

Kiba raised an eyebrow. "You need Lee's permission?"

"No, but I like to have the group as whole approve before I do something stupid and quite possibly threatening. That way I can claim coercion."

Kiba snorted and it even looked as if Shino had smiled.

"Can we go home now?" Ten-Ten whined. "Since I'm obviously not gonna be allowed to hit you, I want to go. You're _annoying_ me."

"Well, perhaps we _should_ end it here." EnVee said warmly. "I'll have the receptionist call you to notify you of your next session. Also, I would like you all to," she passed out a paper to each of them, "write about these topics before your next meeting."

"Yeah, yeah." Kiba muttered and took the paper.

Ten-Ten glared as she accepted the paper.

"Yes, we must prove…youthfulness prevails…" said Lee, less enthusiastically than he had in the beginning. Almost depressingly.

Shino showed no sign of emotion. He just snatched the paper from the psychiatrist's hands.

**

* * *

**All of this was pretty much inspired by friend's actions that I find funny. I have a friend who doesn't like cake but likes cupcakes because they're tiny, one who doesn't like chocolate and a few who like broccoli. I'm not sure what I think about this chapter. Well, review please. 

Oh, and I got the following line from a movie (I can't quite remember the name): _Profanity is the sign of a diseased mind trying to express itself. _


	5. Stop Yelling!

**_Shrinked!_**

**Ch.5:** Stop Yelling!

* * *

Kankuro growled in irritation. "But why do we have to go see the shrink again? Even if we _were_ crazy it makes no sense to see a crazy doctor."

Temari was seated cross-legged on the table, a notebook in her hands. "Because we aren't crazy."

"I just don't think we should have to attend a second session." Kankuro grumbled. The puppeteer was sitting on a chair balancing precariously on one leg.

Gaara was lying on the floor underneath the table Temari was seated upon. "We're going. That's final."

Kankuro poked his head under the table. "Why do _you_ want to go anyway?" Gaara's eyes stared coldly at the puppeteer. "You want to get analyzed by the quacky doc?"

Gaara threw an empty cup at his brother's head. "She pissed me off."

Kankuro looked befuddled. "So you want to go back, _why_?"

"'Cause I hate that lady."

"So why do you want to go?! That's a perfect reason NOT to go!"

"We're going, Kankuro." Gaara ordered.

Kankuro sighed and looked back up at his sister. "We probably _need_ to go anyway, with crazies like you two for siblings."

Temari glared at her brother. "Shut up, baka."

"You should talk to EnVee about your anger issues, Temari." Kankuro stated.

"Kankuro," Gaara said monotonously, as the puppeteer saw his sister's glare grow visibly more deadly, "I'd shut up if I were you. It's not very sane to continue pissing off Temari."

"I never do what's good for me anyway." Kankuro professed.

Temari tossed the notebook she'd been writing in to Kankuro. "Write about your prompts."

Kankuro glared at the notebook. "I don't want to, Temari."

"Too damn bad. And toss it to Gaara when you're done."

Kankuro slouched and began scribbling on the page grumpily. "Just so you're aware, I'm insulting both you idiots in my prompts."

Temari slid off the table. "Whatever, puppet-boy."

"Eh." Gaara mumbled staring up at the underside of the table. "Oi, Temari, this table's dirty."

"So?"

"Clean it."

"It's not my table, Gaara. Why would I clean a hotel's table? If it bothers you so much _you_ can clean it."

"I don't _like_ cleaning." He protested weakly.

"Then deal with it!" She snapped.

Gaara sighed. "I liked you better when you did what I said whenever I said."

"You hated me then. You hated _everyone_ then." Temari stated matter-of-factly as she rummaged through her bag.

Gaara blinked. "You have a point. But I still think you should clean this table."

Temari extracted a small book from the bag and then pulled herself back on top of the table. "I still won't do it, dumbass."

He scowled. "You're vulgar. Aren't sisters supposed to be nice?"

"Aren't the younger siblings supposed to listen to the elder ones?" She countered.

The phone rang.

"Kankuro," Temari muttered as she opened the book, "get that."

"I'm writing!" The puppeteer protested.

"Gaara get the phone."

"_Why_?"

"Because I said so that's why."

"That's not a _real_ reason, Temari."

"I'll hit you with my fan if you don't answer the pone."

Gaara contemplated the validity of the threat. Temari _would_ naturally do it, the real question was: would the sand decide to protect him this time? Gaara rolled out from under the table and headed to the phone. Better safe than sorry. "Can I go to a store and ask for a refund on a sister, or even an exchange?"

"Nope." Kankuro muttered. "I've tried."

"Ah, shut up already." Temari said. "Just answer the damn phone."

Gaara picked up the telephone. "Hel—"

"HELLO! HOW ARE YOU!"

Gaara nearly dropped the phone. Tentatively he raised the phone to his ear. "…I could be deaf now, so, I'd say…_bad_….Who are you…?"

"I'm calling from EnVee's office!"

"Oh, crap." Gaara muttered, "You're the crazy receptionist."

"OOOH! THIS IS GAARA-KUN ISN'T IT?

This time he really _did_ drop the phone. But the woman could still be heard yelling.

"OH! I HOPE YOU'RE FEELING WONDERFUL TODA—"

"STOP YELLING AT ME!" Gaara wailed at the phone on the floor. "I KNOW I MENTIOEND DEAFNESS BUT THIS WON'T FIX IT!!"

"I'M NOT YELLING!" said the cheerful voice.

"YES, YOU ARE DAMMIT!"

"NO—"

"SHUT UP OR I'LL KILL YOU! DON'T PUSH ME! I'LL DO IT, LADY!"

"THAT ISN'T NIC—"

Temari snatched the phone up from the floor. "Ignore him." She said quickly. "I assume you called to—"

"TEMARI-CHAN!"

Temari winced and held the phone away from her ear. "I really—"

"DID YOU GET OVER YOUR ANGER ISSUES YET? GIRLS CAN BE SO SENTIMENTAL, IT'S WHAT MAKES THEM THE WEAKER SHINOBI."

Temari's lips twisted into a scowl. Gaara edged away. Kankuro's eyes widened.

Both boys thought the same thing.

_Oh, shit._

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME YOU BITCH?! ARE YOU INSINUATING I AM A WORSE SHINOBI THAN ANY MALE JUST BECAUSE OF MY GENDE—"

Kankuro snatched the phone from his sister's hands. "Lady, tell me when the appointment is before my sister gets _really_ pissed. Trust me, you don't want her pissed."

"TOMMOROW AT 5:00!"

Kankuro slammed the phone down.

Temari fumed. "I'm going to kill her."

"Remember," Kankuro said nervously. "We're proving that we're sane. Killing is a no-no in the sane handbook."

"So let's throw the handbook out the window." Temari retorted.

"…But…Gaara, help me here."

"Why?" Gaara muttered. "You've said so yourself, we aren't sane. Why follow the rules of the sane?"

"WE ARE TOO SANE!" Temari screeched

"…Fine, Temari. We're sane." Gaara said sarcastically.

Temari gritted her teeth. "I'm going to go outside and kill some trees with my fan."

Kankuro sighed in relief. Good, it was just trees she was killing. "Okay."

Temari picked up her fan and stormed out.

Kankuro turned to look at Gaara.

The red-head was smiling.

"You did that on purpose didn't you? What do they call it? The reverse psychology nonsense?"

Gaara looked at him innocently. "Don't know what you're talking about."

The puppeteer picked up the notebook and shoved it in Gaara's hands. "Your turn."

The red head cracked open the notebook. "You should go keep an eye on her. Just in case. Make sure all she really kills are _just_ trees."

Kankuro picked up Karasu. "That's what I intend to do."

**xXxXx**

"Jeez, Naruto," Kiba grumbled. "Your house is a mess."

"Eh." Naruto chuckled and rubbed his head. Both boys had just come in from an extensive training session.

Akamaru yipped and started examining the various contents littered across the floor of the house.

A sharp ringing disrupted the atmosphere

"Hey, uh, Kiba, can you get that?"

Kiba looked around the room. "I would if I could find it."

"It's right next to you. To the left."

A pile of rumpled clothing was on Kiba's left. "Naruto, there's only—"

"Under the clothes."

Kiba pushed the clothes aside revealing the ringing phone. "Ah." He picked it up, "Jeez, Naruto," Kiba muttered. "You're a pig."

"Ah, shut up!"

"Hello?" Kiba answered into the phone.

"Naruto-kun! I'm calling from EnVee's office!" Kiba winced and glared at the phone. "Would you mind not yelling? And I'm not Naru—"

"I'M NOT YELLING." She yipped cheerfully.

"…Yes, you are."

"Well, NARUTO-KUN, YOUR—"

"I'm not Naruto. Let me get him—"

"WHO ARE YOU THEN?"

Kiba winced again. "…Kiba."

"KIBA-KUN!!"

Kiba dropped the phone and held his hands over his ears protectively. "Crazy lady…"

Akamaru barked at the phone as the receptionist continued yelling.

"IT'S WONDEFUL TO HEAR YOUR VOICE. I WAS GOING TO CALL YOU NEXT!"

Naruto stared in bewilderment at the phone on the floor. He tentatively toed it with his foot.

"Well," Kiba muttered starting apprehensively at the phone. "Aren't you going to talk to her, Naruto?"

"_Talk_ to her? Are you nuts!? Besides, she's talking to you."

"It's your house."

"So?"

Kiba picked up the hone and shoved it at Naruto. "Here." Naruto looked terrifyingly at the phone. He lifted it carefully up to his ear.

"Hello?"

"NARUTO! YOU'RE HERE!"

Naruto shuddered. "Well, it's my house…You called to tell me—"

"YOUR APPOINTMENT'S AT 5:00 TOMMOROW!" Naruto winced. "SO IS KIBA'S!!"

"OKAY!" Naruto slammed the phone down. "That lady is insane…"

**xXxXx**

"Ah." Ten-Ten sighed in contentment. A warm, steaming coffee mug sat on the table before the weapons mistress. The steam curled up into the air and disappeared promptly. Neji slid into a seat across Ten-Ten and sagged. "Thank God." He muttered.

A very beat up and abused Lee staggered into the room. "…That was painful."

Neji looked at his teammate. "It's your own fault. You should know by now not to drag Ten-Ten out of bed without a mug of coffee waiting for her."

"But an addiction is a terrible thing!" Lee whined.

"An angry Ten-Ten is worse." Neji mumbled.

Ten-Ten glared at Neji. "I'm only ignoring that because you got me coffee." She smiled again. "_Coffee_…"

Lee sunk into a chair beside Neji the minute the phone rang.

Ten-Ten looked over the rim of her coffee mug and glared at the two boys. "Somebody ought to get that."

Neji sighed and walked over to the phone. He picked it up. "Hel—"

"HIYA! Oooh! Is this Neji-kun?! Dear me, I thought I was calling Ten-Ten!!"

Neji held the phone away from his ear. "This is Ten-Ten's number." He spoke into the phone.

"OH! SO YOU'RE VISITING!"

Neji winced. "Hey, Lee," the Hyuuga tossed the phone to the other boy. "I think you'll enjoy talking to her."  
Lee blinked. "To who?"

"The receptionist from EnVee's office."

Lee spoke into the phone. "Hello? Is this—"

"Lee! How pleasant to hear your voice!!"

Lee grinned. "It is lovely to hear you again!"

Ten-Ten winced. The receptionist and Lee were talking rather loudly. Hell, they were _yelling_ at each other.

Neji closed his eyes. "I think Lee's the only who'd be happy to talk to her."

Ten-Ten took a deep sip of coffee. "Probably."

"DO TELL YOUR TEAMMATES THAT YOUR APPOINTMENT'S ARE AT 5:00 TOMMOROW!" They could hear the receptionist yell cheerfully.

Ten-Ten shuddered. Not another appointment. Damn that Tsunade.

Neji sighed. Dammit. He was hoping they'd forget to call.

Lee nodded dejectedly. "Hai." _He_ didn't even seem too cheery about it.

**xXxXx**

Shino and Chouji happened to be walking by EnVee's office. Of course, neither boy noticed this until the crazy receptionist started yelling at them.

"SHINO-KUN! CHOUJI-KUN!"

Chouji dropped his chips. They lay spilled all over the dirt floor. "My chips…" He said sadly.

The crazy lady looked at them. "HOW LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"

Chouji backed away a bit.

"…Could you stop shouting?" Shino muttered

"YELLING! WHO'S YELLING!" She grinned.

"Do you think she's doing this on purpose or she's just deaf?" Chouji muttered to Shino. "So, we'll see you later." Chouji said cheerily to her.

"Hopefully never." Shino mumbled.

"WAIT! YOU TWO SHOULD KNOW YOUR APPOINTMENT'S AT 5:00 TOMMORROW!"

"Got it." Chouji mumbled before skittering off immediately along with Shino.

**xXxXx**

Back at the Hyuuga compound Hinata was analyzing the topics she'd been given to write about. She'd put them off because, simply put, she did not like the psychiatrist. She started at the topics for three minutes and then sighed and flopped onto the floor staring up at the roof.

Stupid shrink.

Her sister Hanabi was staring at her. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Writing."

"You're looking at the roof."

"I am not."

"Yes, you are."

"I'm writing, Hanabi."

"_No_, you're not."

She sighed. "You're right. I'm not."

"Hinata, you are—" Hanabi shook her head. "Forget it."

The phone rang. Hinata scrambled up from the floor. Yay! An excuse not to write! She picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"HINATA-CHAN! HELLO, I AM THE RECEPTIONIST FROM ENVEE'S OFFICE!"

Hinata dropped and watched it fearfully.

"HOW ARE YOU?!" The phone yelled. Hinata stood there for five minutes, just looking at the phone.

Hanabi's eyes creased in bewilderment. "Hinata, _what_ are you doing? And why is that person yelling?"

"…Th-That lady scares me…"

Hanabi rolled her eyes and picked up the phone. "Hinata's unavailable. What do you want?"

"OH! WHAT A SHAME I—"

"Lady!" Hanabi yelled. "Stop screaming and tell me what you want with my sister!"

"Well aren't you rude!" She cooed rather loudly.

"LADY!"

"Her appointment's at 5:00 tomorrow. Perhaps you would like to make an appointment! You seem to have prob—"

Hanabi hung up. "Your appointment's at 5:00 tomorrow, neechan."

"Oh…"Hinata's gaze drifted to the papers. "I need to start writing then…"

Thought the more she thought of it the more likely it seemed that she wouldn't do them until an hour before her appointment.

**xXxXx**

Sakura and Ino were once again yelling at each other.

"Ino-pig!"

"Billboard brow!"

The phone was ringing.

"Ino!" Her mother called. "It's bad enough you're scaring away the customers. At least answer the phone!"

Ino scowled and picked up the phone. "Yamanka Flo—"

"IS INO-CHAN THERE!?"

Ino held the phone away from her ear.

"Jeez," Sakura muttered, "she sounds just like…"

Both Ino's and Sakura's eyes widened.

"You don't think…?" Sakura asked tentatively.

"I really hope not." Ino muttered. She went back to the phone. "Ah, this is Ino, is this—?"

"INO-CHAN, I HEARD SAKURA-CHAN TOO! Ooh, are you two good friends?! That is _so_ beautiful! Oh, this is the receptionist from EnVee's office! Do you—"

"You called to tell us the appointment right?" Ino quickly interrupted.

"_YES_! I CAN SEE YOU'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!"

"JEEZ!" Sakura yelled at the receiver which Ino had lowered. "Stop yelling!!"

"I AM NOT—"

"JUST TELL ME WHEN THE APPOINTMENT IS!" Ino yelled.

"5:00 TOMMOROW FOR BOTH OF YOU!"

"THANK YOU!"

"Ino!" Ino's mother called. "Stop yelling at the customers."

Ino grumbled. Sakura giggled. And hence the two started yelling again.

**xXxXx**

Shikamaru walked into the house to hear his mother yelling at someone on the phone. "DAMMIT, STOP YELLING! I CAN HEAR YOU JUST FINE! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

"I AM NOT YELLING!"

"YES, YOU ARE!"

"YOU'RE YELLING!"

"BECAUSE YOU WERE YELLING FIRST!"

"STOP YELLING!" Both his mother and the person on the other line screeched.

Shikamaru stood awkwardly by the door trying to decide the best course of action.

"Shikamaru!" His mom yelled.

He cringed. "…Yes?"

"This crazy lady is yelling at me! Why the hell did you give our number to a nut-job?" She slapped him upside the head. "What is wrong with you?!"

Shikamaru rubbed his head. "I didn't give our number to any—" He stopped abruptly.

"Oh, you remember now do you?!" Yoshino scolded.

"Can you give me the phone?"

Yoshino shoved the phone at her son. "Tell that woman to NEVER CALL HERE AGAIN!"

Shikamaru awkwardly held the phone a good five inches from his ear. "So…uh when is—"

"SHIKAMARU-KUN!!"

He winced. Kun? He _hated_ that suffix. "…my appointment?"

"OH, IT'S SUCH A—"

Yoshino snatched the phone from her son. "His appointment! WHEN?"

"YOU ARE _SO_ RUD—"

"_WHEN_?!"

"TOMORROW AT 5:00!" The receptionist snapped.

"DON'T CALL AGAIN!" Yoshino screeched and hug up the phone.

"Crazy lady." She grumbled.

Shikamaru looked about nervously. He really wasn't sure who was crazier. The receptionist or his mom. His mom was definitely scarier though, she'd managed to piss of the overly cheery receptionist.

Great. Tomorrow at five. How troublesome.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, well, I don't really have anything to say. Review please, and my lovely friends the muffins will save you from the evil cookies when they take over the world. (Beware of the cookies! Dey be ebil deserts!) 


	6. Session 2: Marbles and Losing It

_**Shrinked!**_

**Ch.6:** Marbles and Losing it

* * *

EnVee grinned broadly and clasped her hands together. "Lovely! We're all here."

Tenten sulked. "_You_ were late again." She grumbled.

EnVee either chose to ignore the comment or hadn't heard it.

"Dr. EnVee," Ino asked authoritatively, "why are we all here?" Didn't you say there were too may people, and it was best to cut us into groups? What happened to that idea?"

EnVee looked warmly at the fourteen young shinobi, "Well, I thought you all would benefit from some group meetings."

Sakura scoffed. "Sure."

EnVee was blithely ignoring the fact that every one of her patients looked ready to kill her, asleep, or both.

They were in a much bigger room than that of before. There was an armchair, 'loveseats', and two couches – all cream colored. All these seatings were grouped around a rectangular table with a nice expensive appearing chair at the head in which EnVee sat. There were also a few randomly placed chairs scattered about the room. To the left of EnVee's chair was the armchair and one couch. In front of the chair was the loveseat. And to the right of EnVee's chair was the large couch. The room was covered in expanse soft blue carpet and there were plenty of windows.

The young shinobi rested in the middle of the room by the arranged seating sprawled everywhere. Shikamaru sat slouched on the floor leaning against the side of the armchair with his eyes closed. Beside him, in the armchair, sat Ino _and_ Sakura, who for some reason unbeknownst to the shinobi, had fought over sitting there twenty minutes prior to the beginning of the session. Neither had won so they sat cramped in the one-person armchair glaring daggers at each other. By the side of that armchair on the couch sat Chouji, Kiba, and Hinata. Chouji was comfortably eating chips, Kiba was looking thoroughly bored, and surprisingly enough Hinata was looking annoyed. Opposite of this group of ninja's on the other couch Temari sat cross-legged on the far end closest to EnVee's chair drumming her fingers across the iron fan on her lap impatiently. Gaara was slouched in the middle his arms crossed and his eyes rested shut. Kankurou seated on the other end, seemed to be staring at the wall in boredom. In front of EnVee in the 'loveseat' sat Shino and Neji. Neji's eyes occasionally flicked to the girl who was sitting on the arm on his side of the seat in annoyance. The girl, Tenten, kept pulling his hair at random moments in an attempt to alleviate her boredom. On the floor not too far from Tenten rested Lee. He was lying down, propping his head up with his hands looking half-interestedly at the roof. Beside Lee sat Naruto, cross-legged his head resting in his hands, fidgeting every now and then, moving to glare at the doctor.

"I trust you all have written your topics?"

She was greeted with a few half-hearted unintelligible grumbles and a marble thrown at her forehead.

Tenten innocently clasped her hands in front of her. So what if the doctor could call her crazy for the hell of it? Damn, woman needed a marble thrown at her head.

Neji smiled slightly. "Try a bigger marble next time." He whispered.

EnVee ignored the marble. "I would like you all then to pair up and discuss your topics with your partner." Just as the young shinobi started to move, EnVee spoke once more. "_But_, I do not want you to pick someone in your team _or_ family." There was an awkward moment of silence as the shinobi contemplated their options.

Temari sighed in annoyance. "So I can pick _anyone_, so long as it's not Gaara or Kankurou right?"

"Yes."

The rough blonde pushed herself up and walked across the empty space to the armchair before her. "Oi." She kicked the lazy boy lying on the floor.

Shikamaru grumbled and opened his eyes. "What're you kicking me for, woman?"

"If you were listening you'd know." She grasped his hand and pulled him up roughly. "Sharing. You're with me. And I don't share." She dragged the leaf nin over to the window. Shikamaru merely yawned and let himself be dragged off.

Temari seemed to motivate the rest of the shinobi to move.

Tenten swung off the arm of the chair and stood before Shino. "We need to talk. You need help. I can fix it."

Shino stared at her. "You're strange."

"You're my partner." Tenten ordered.

"Fine." Those two spread off the left front of the room.

Chouji glanced at Kiba.

"Eh, okay." Kiba said. "I think you're the sanest one here anyway. Other than me, that is."

"_You're_ sane?"

"Of course I am."

Lee looked energetically at Sakura. "Sakura-san, would you do me the pleasure of being my partner."

"O-okay, Lee-san." The two gravitated to a set of chairs in the far corner of the room.

Kankurou analyzes his choices. Crazy hyper blonde boy. Shy weird Hyuuga girl. Bitchy-looking angry blonde girl. And stoic Hyuuga. From his past knowledge, blonde kunoichis were creatures he shouldn't interfere with. The one least likely to be annoying was the silent Hyuuga. Kankurou looked at him. "Oi, Hyuuga."

Neji was having similar thoughts to Kankurou. His safest bet was with Kankurou as EnVee would most likely not allow him to partner with Hinata. "Alright."

Ino wasn't in a very happy mood. She hadn't wanted to come to see the dam psychiatrist to begin with and now she had to choose who she was going to 'share' with?!? For goodness' sakes _she_ was **sane** dammit!

The red-head probably wasn't.

And Hinata held self-esteem issues.

And Naruto…Kami, he just _Naruto_. As insane as any _could_ get.

Ino pondered her options for two more seconds.

"Alright," EnVee clucked, "since we four can't decide…" she smiled, "Naruto and Ino, you two together, and Gaara and Hinata."

"Can I switch?" Naruto promptly asked.

"No." EnVee responded coldly.

Ino scowled. "Fine. But we're sitting by that window!" Ino pointed to the window closest to the door, right by Sakura and Lee. Hopefully Naruto would just annoy Sakura and leave _her_ alone.

Gaara's eyes opened lazily. "…What?"

EnVee smiled. "You'll be sharing your topics with Hinata."

Hinata squirmed a bit.

"…I don't have topics."

Damn, Hinata thought. Could she have just said that and gotten off the hook?

"Gaara," EnVEe began in that false warmness that she had, "Why—"

"Don't listen to that idiot." Temari called out. She ripped a paper out of a thin notebook, crumpled it into a ball and threw it at Gaara.

A pillow of sand caught the paper.

"His topics are in there." Temari explained.

Gaara inwardly scowled.

He didn't want to _share_.

What point was there in sharing with some that didn't – screw it, what point was there in sharing _period_?

"Hinata, Gaara, you two are sharing;" EnVee explained. "It would do well to sit together."

Gaara glared at the woman, but complied. He sat beside the shy Hyuuga girl who shockingly was muttering curses under her breath. Every one said she was a just a sweet little wallflower. Her curses seemed to deny such rumors.

"Damn…witch…fucking…SHARE? Why should I…? Crazy…stupid…bitch…"

"Don't forget suicidal." Gaara rasped. "You don't insult shinobi without being suicidal."

Hinata blushed. "I—I…"

"You're weird." He stated bluntly before closing his eyes again.

"Now, I want you ALL to share your topics with each other. I'll be walking around to ensure—" EnVee stopped as a marble struck her in the forehead. She cleared her throat and continued in a strained voice, "That you are discussing the topics."

—**Shino & Tenten—**

"I don't think marbles will give her a concussion so you should stop throwing them at her."

Tenten scowled. "But it's _fun_! Besides, I can't very well throw kunais, that'll kill her, since she _obviously_ can't dodge, and I think Tsunade will be very mad if I _do_ kill her."

"Nobody else in this room will be mad."

"But none of those people control my missions."

Tenten couldn't be sure of it, but she could've sworn Shino had smiled.

"Oh, crap!" Tenten exclaimed. "She's coming! Quick, tell me what you wrote for uh… 'Why did you become a shinobi?'"

"You tell _me_."

"I asked you first."

"She's coming."

Tenten and Shino held a three minute staring contest.

Tenten swore as EnVee cleared her throat behind her.

"Well," the psychiatrist said, "_this_ doesn't seem very productive."

"Tenten refuses to share." Shino supplied.

"Tenten." EnVee warned.

The weapons mistress scowled. She was 99 sure if she could just see Shino's mouth, he'd be smirking. Damn crazy no-likey-cake boy. "I became a shinobi because…" Tenten paused and looked at the paper she had scribbled on. "Weapons are cool."

EnVee sighed. "Tenten, please _elaborate_."

"Fine!" Tenten crumpled the paper and dropped it on the floor. "My dad makes weapons. My mom's a baker. My mom tried to make me bake a cake once. The cake was stupid and hot and I couldn't touch it without burning my hands and the thing that people use to touch hot pans and stuff was kinda…burned…so…I pulled it out burning my hands in the process, but I wasn't about to try to pull the cake (too hot) out even though I know you're supposed to before it cools in the pan, so once it cooled I went out to my father's study to find something to pull it out. I found a kunai and used it to remove the cake. It was kinda crumbly and mushy after I took it out, but I decided who cares? And then I began to frost it.

"Don't ask me how but the stupid cake exploded on me. I was covered in frosting and cake for three days. Do you know how hard it is to get that crap out of your hair? I very rarely wear my hair down, and I just HAD to wear it down that day. Anyway, I got angry and started throwing kunais at every kitchen appliance I hated. (A lot of things have exploded on me in the past) I blew up the oven, broke the fridge, killed our tables and chairs, and annihilated all our food supply.

"My mom was furious. I decided then that I hated cooking, and liked weapons. But there was NO way I was gonna make 'em and never use 'em. So here I am: a ninja. And considering I have to put up with creepazoid shrinks I'm starting to think it was an error in judgment. There, happy?"

EnVee smiled, scribbled a bit on her paper, and moved on.

Shino appeared to be snickering. "How did you manage to explode a cake?"

Tenten growled. "Don't point fingers, Anti-Sweets."

—**Kankurou & Neji—**

Kankurou had his eyes closed contentedly; he was having an incredibly nice daydream. While Neji was slumped in his chair staring at the ceiling.

Neither of them had spoken for _fifteen_ entire minutes.

"Ahem." EnVee said softly.

Kankurou cracked open and eye, stared at her for three seconds, then closed his eye and resumed daydreaming.

Neji glanced at her, stared impassively for five seconds then returned his attention to the ceiling.

"You're supposed to _share_." EnVee strained.

"'Supposed to' being the key words." Kankurou drawled.

"Share." She ordered.

"Don't think so." Kankurou replied.

"Share or—"

"What?" Kankurou opened his eyes. "What could you possibly do? Call me crazy? Go ahead."

"I can make these sessions mandatory for you and the Hyuuga. And will make the sessions span over a two-year period."

Neji's eyes flicked over to her in panic.

Kankurou fell off his chair. "Y-You can't do that!"

"If I deem you need these sessions to survive then—"

"I don't need them!" Kankurou protested.

"Then start talking."

Answer the crazy woman or spend two years trying to avoid answering the crazy woman. Damn. Tough call. Kankurou scowled. "Fine." He looked at his paper. "'My fondest memory'…When I outfitted Karasu."

"Explain." EnVee said testily.

"Karasu is my puppet."

EnVee growled.

"My weapon."

"Kankurou!"

Kankurou sighed. "I added on to it. Some blades. Stronger poisons. Temari helped…I stabbed her with the poison on accident.

"_But I had the antidote_! I never recall her helping me anytime other than that when we were young. She helped me make a poison and…" He scowled. "Added perfume to it. That's it. No more to explain."

"Very well." EnVee moved on.

Neji raised an eyebrow. "When you say 'accident'…?"

"Okay, it wasn't so much an accident as it was Temari irritating the fuck out of me; I mean, _damn_ she put perfume in my poison! So, my hand sort of moved to stab her with poison."

Neji smirked.

"I had the antidote!"

"Still…"

"Hey! You've no reason to point fingers." Kankurou protested. "_You_ almost killed your cousin."

"We're past that." He said confidently.

"Just like we are." Kankurou leaned back in his chair. "But if Temari asks, it was a fucking accident."

"Accident." He smiled, his pale eyes roamed back to the ceiling. "Got it."

—**Chouji & Kiba—**

"Where's Akamaru?"

Kiba sighed. "He wouldn't come. Something about the psychopathic receptionist, and this lady," He looked at EnVee, "mortified him."

"I agree. I wouldn't come if I didn't have to."

Kiba grinned. "How much money you wanna bet someone explodes and starts yelling at EnVee no expletives deleted?"

"What kind of bet would _that_ be?"

"What if I bet you it would be Hinata?"

Chouji opened a bag of chips and analyzed Hinata. "I doubt it."

"Ten bucks."

"You're on."

"Hey, give me some chips."

Chouji pulled the bag away. "Get your own."

"Greedy!"

"Moocher!"

"C'mon! One chip!"

"Get your own!"

"One!"

"_No_!"

He growled. "You are so—"

"Are we being productive, gentlemen?" EnVee asked.

"…" Kiba glanced up. "…uh…"

"…Sure." Chouji finished.

"Well?" she inquired.

"Well what?" Chouji muttered.

"Your topics." EnVee clarified.

Chouji and Kiba looked at each other. "You." They muttered unanimously.

"One of you, NOW."

"Okay." Chouji glanced at his paper. "I became a ninja because my dad was a ninja and his dad was a ninja."

EnVee looked at him.

"_What_?" Chouji muttered in defense. "It was expected."

Kiba yawned. "There _has_ to be a unique reason _you_ chose it."

"Oh, yeah? Then why'd you choose it?"

He shrugged. "When I was a kid, I thought it'd be fun. When I got a little bit older I wanted to show up my sister Hana. Now, I just realize _someone's_ got to do it. Somebody capable. Someone needs to help others."

EnVee leaned in, "You wanted to show up your sister?"

"What? She was always pissing me off." Kiba protested.

EnVee scribbled in her papers. "Continue." She moved on to the next couple.

"I bet you she didn't' hear a word other than 'show up my sister' and 'was expected'." Chouji muttered.

"Probably." Kiba eyed the bag eyed the bag of chips. "Are you giving me a chip _now_?"

Chouji slipped a chip in his mouth. "Nope."

Kiba sulked.

"Yum, barbeque."

"You're sadistic."

—**Shikamaru & Temari—**

Temari growled and kicked Shikamaru.

The blonde kunoichi was sitting on the window ledge with the lazy Konoha-nin slumped on the floor, his eyes closed.

Temari could've sworn she'd hear him snore.

Shikamaru opened his eyes. "_What_, woman?"

"You're supposed to be sharing."

"You share."

"I don't want to share."

"Fancy that, neither do I."

Temari kicked him again.

"Temari!" EnVee scolded. "Do NOT—"

"Why not?" she interrupted. "He deserves it. The baka won't even—"

"Temari, NO VIOLENCE!" EnVee smiled with what appeared to be great effort. "Now, please, Temari, share with us."

Temari glared at her. "Why me? Why not—?"

"Temari, _share_. And, please, this works best if you two are at _least_ at the same level."

"Then make him stand."

EnVee and Temari held a short glaring contest which resulted in Temari taking a seat next to Shikamaru on the floor.

Shikamaru could hear Temari swear under her breath. "Bitch."

EnVee waited for Temari to divulge her 'topic'.

Temari grumbled. "Fine." A sigh. "I became a shinobi to show everybody that I could be just as good as anybody else – that I could even be better. I became a shinobi because I refused to be just a woman. I am not weak. I am not frail. I am better and stronger than most. I became a shinobi to prove everyone wrong."

EnVee scribbled in her notebook. "I assume the people you wanted to prove wrong include your father?"

She scowled. "I don't have a father. I never did."

"Oh?" EnVee raised an eyebrow clearly intrigued. "So you wanted to—"

"Sorry, I am not accepting questions from this point forward about my supposed relationship with that man." Temari said with fake sweetness. "Thank you for showing your morbid interest in everything that just gives you ammunition. Try fucking up somebody else."

EnVee blinked.

Shikamaru chuckled softly.

EnVee muttered unintelligibly under her breath and scribbled on her papers. She moved on to the next pair in a slight bitter mood.

"For the record," Shikamaru mumbled, his eyes closing, "I think it's a good thing you became a shinobi. And you've more than proved yourself."

"Hmph!" But Temari did smile.

—**Ino & Naruto—**

Ino closed her eyes briefly and tried to calm down.

1

2

3

"AND THAT'S WHY I BECAME A NINJA! TO BE THE BEST HOKAGE KONOHA HAS EVER HAD!!"

Ino's teeth clenched together.

1

2

3

Of course she knew why he wanted to be a shinobi.

_Everyone_ knew.

He only belted it out every chance he got.

Hokage.

Hokage.

Hokage.

Talk about a one-track mind.

"And you, Ino?" EnVee inquired appearing beside her. "Would you care to share?"

Ino growled.

Share.

Share.

"Why bother?" She muttered.

"_Ino_." EnVee scolded.

The psychiatrist looked particularly menacing so Ino decided to comply. "_I_ became a shinobi because I knew I could. My father believed I wouldn't want to, but I could, so I did." Ino flicked her hair out of her eyes. "Besides, anyone worth knowing becomes a shinobi. Shinobi are the brave noble people." Ino's eyes wandered to Naruto. "Although, mistakes _are_ made."

Naruto scowled. "Yeah – with _you_. What _do_ you do?"

Ino flared and stood up, "WHAT DO YOU—"

"Ino!" EnVee interrupted her. "Inside voice."

The blonde slumped back down in her chair.

EnVee scribbled in her book and continued on.

"Anyway," Naruto continued, "back to the interesting story, which is MINE."

"You are _not_ interesting!" Ino snapped.

—**Sakura & Lee—**

"Well, erm, Lee…" Sakura said as EnVee approached, "What's your fondest memory?"

"When I met Tenten!"

Sakura blinked.

EnVee almost dropped her papers. "_Really_?" She seemed incredibly surprised.

Lee nodded. "I was a lonely kid at the academy. Everyone taunted and thought me odd because I desired to try very hard and had no chakra! I was very sad one day, I do not remember why, but Tenten sat next to me. She gave me a piece of cake her mother had made for her, saying that I should ignore the other students. When I said I did not like chocolate, she started scolding me. She has always been my friend since that moment. Also, she would throw kunais at those who would taunt me. She is my greatest friend!"

Sakura smiled.

Tenten was a pretty nice person, had it been her, she probably would have avoided Lee.

It was those eyebrows.

Sakura shuddered involuntarily.

—**Gaara & Hinata—**

The redhead had been, since EnVee left their presence, sleeping.

Or so it seemed to Hinata.

She probably could've checked, using her byakugan, but…she didn't really see the point.

Shoot, if she could sleep in such a situation she would probably be sleeping too. Hinata just wasn't one for sleeping in public places.

"Gaara." EnVee said tersely to the motionless boy.

Hinata glanced at her. She was a weird lady…

The redhead's eyes opened slowly. "_What_?"

"Would you care to share your topic?"

"…Not really."

"It wasn't a question, Gaara." EnVee gritted out. The woman was clearly on the end of her rope.

Hinata sighed. "Then, _why_, did you say it that way? If it's not a question you shouldn't phrase it as one."

EnVee seemed to be struggling very hard not to yell. "Gaara, share a topic of yours."

He stared blankly at her for five minutes straight.

EnVee's gaze never wavered.

"…Washing clothes." He replied dully.

EnVee blinked. "_What_?"

"You asked for my topic." He stated matter-of-factly. "My fondest memory is learning to wash clothes."

"Would you care to elaborate?" EnVee pressed.

"Just for the record," Hinata interrupted, "is this another question that really isn't a question as much as it is one of your psychopathic demands?"

EnVee's lips tightened. "Gaara, please elaborate."

The cold look in Gaara's eyes could frighten almost anyone. Even the 'doctor' (Hinata believed that woman had _no_ right to be called a medical professional of any sorts) faltered slightly and dropped her pen.

Gaara blinked slowly. "I didn't know how. Temari taught me. Kankurou laughed at me."

"And why," EnVee continued asking (more like demanding,) her slight fear immediately gone, "is that quite a fond memory for you?"

"…They treated me normally. It's when they stopped being scared."

A garbled and sentiment filled squeak slipped from Hinata's lips. Hinata flushed horribly as Gaara looked at her in confusion. EnVee just scribbled methodically in her papers.

"And you, Hinata? Which topic would you discuss with us?" EnVee asked without looking at her.

Gaara's eyes slowly slid closed once more.

"Ano…" Hinata briefly wondered if she could get away without answering. She brushed that thought away quickly. Gaara had answered, she might as well. "I became a n-n-ninja to p-prove I was w-worth something." She finished it rather quietly.

"And how is that going?" EnVee clucked.

Gaara hadn't been sleeping or meditating during the times his eyes were closed: he'd merely been sitting on that dammed couch trying to decide why he had wanted to attend. It was irritating him. He didn't like this lady and he doubted she could 'help' him in any manner. But at her last words to the pale Hyuuga heiress his concentration broke. He'd heard everything Hyuuga Hinata had said; to him it seemed a noble goal – a decent reason. But the _doctor's_ response was short, clipped, and undeniably cold. It was also laced with mirth. Underneath he could swear that woman thought the timid girl really had no worth. Sure, she was undeniably demure and need to be a bit bolder, but that did not mean the kunoichi was worthless. "What," Gaara spoke calmly, his eyes still closed, "was _that_ supposed to mean?"

Hinata shifted nervously. Of course EnVee's beliefs were the same as her father's, but what had unnerved her was Gaara's question. Was he talking to _her_, or the quack?

"Pardon?" EnVee asked sweetly.

"Your previous question." Gaara replied opening his eyes to stare coldly at the woman. "It sounded quite…cruel."

She laughed madly. "I was asking if—"

"As Hinata has pointed out," Gaara interrupted, "your questions are never really questions. The one directed toward Hinata's goal I presume was meant to be an insult."

"Gaara!" EnVee chortled, "Such interesting statements you issue!" With, as Hinata dubbed, 'a carefully placed plastic smile', EnVee scribbled something on her papers.

Something Hinata could _plainly_ see.

_**Only interested in insulting matters. Possibilities for sadistic tendencies. Not much difference from horrific rumors of personality.**_

"Don't write that!" Hinata blurted out without thinking.

Both EnVee and Gaara looked at her.

"That's not true." Hinata protested to the doctor, fighting very hard to control her blush.

"And how, Hinata, would you know?" EnVee bit, "Though, from your given actions as a nosy involved busybody it makes sense that you should hold a certain degree of misinterpreted information."

"I am not—!" Hinata swallowed the words.

_Don't give the quack bait._

_Don't give the quack bait._

"For a doctor," Gaara muttered, "you are terrible with people."

Now EnVee was teetering on a very precarious slope. Dealing with shinobi seemed to irritate her very much. "For a human," she supplied snootily, "you hold very little regard for the value of others' lives."

This seemed to strike a chord with the redhead. His head bowed slightly and his shoulders tensed ever so slightly. "I've changed." He answered quietly.

"I'm quite sure." EnVee replied in the EXACT same tone she had asked Hinata 'And how is that going?'. The pale girl tensed and gritted her teeth, trying very hard to remind herself that she should not give the quack bait. She watched calmly as the psychiatrist scrawled on her papers carefully.

_**Manipulative. Gives off a façade of warm heartedness.**_

That was it. Hinata's patience snapped. "ENOUGH!" If Hinata were thinking rationally she'd be embarrassed that she had just yelled at the doctor. As it was, she was too angry and too annoyed to give a damn. Hinata stood angrily. "YOU ARE A MEAN BOSSY CREATURE AND I'M TIRED OF ALL YOUR CRAP. GAARA SAYS HE'S CHANGED AND I BELIEVE HIM; A LOT OF US IN THIS ROOM BELIEVE HIM. WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING LEAVE US ALONE YOU SADISTIC _BAT_!" Sitting back down, the pale Hyuuga flushed a horrible red and clenched and unclenched her fists repeatedly. "I can't believe I just did that." She murmured to the floor.

Gaara stared at her curiously. She was an odd one. "You believe me?"

Her pale eyes looked up at him.

Gaara was surprised to see there really was no fear, only embarrassment.

"Yes, I do." She said a little quietly.

"YOU OWE ME TEN BUCKS!" Kiba suddenly exclaimed rather loudly and triumphantly to the robust boy beside him.

Chouji grumbled. "Aww, man."

Shino snickered ever so quietly.

Tenten fell out of her chair. "Did you just laugh?!" She exclaimed to the quiet boy. Eyes boggling, Tenten looked at Hinata, "Did she just _yell_?!"

Lee blinked. "Wow. Here I had thought all Hyuuga's did not know how to raise their voice."

Sakura pinched herself. "Oww." She frowned. "Okay, so I AM awake."

Naruto blinked. "I forgot Hinata was here. WOW."

Ino was scared. "Damn. What'll she do if she _really_ gets pissed?"

Shikamaru yawned, completely nonplussed. "Fuck, I'm tired of that woman's crap too."

Temari slapped him for swearing then smiled. "I kinda like that girl. Hinata is her name, right?"

"Hm." Neji muttered. "Well, what do you know?"

"Oi! Hyuuga chick!" Kankurou called out.

Hinata turned to look at him, beet red as she realized everyone was talking about her.

"Nice." Kankurou said to her. "Couldn't have said it better myself."

Hinata was taken aback.

The room started muttering their approval and marbles mysteriously began hitting EnVee once more. There was laughter and chatter and a certain degree of mild (for a shinobi anyway) violence.

"ENOUGH!" EnVee scowled. "Your sessions are finished. Go home."

"Thank, Kami!" Tenten breathed.

"YES!" Ino and Sakura exclaimed in unison.

Neji and Shino nodded.

Lee looked relived. "At last."

Naruto jumped up and was out the door in a flash. Kiba and Chouji followed Naruto's example.

Kankurou relaxed. "Thank goodness."

Shikamaru yawned and lazily ambled out, but not before whispering something in the Hyuuga heiress's ear.

Gaara blinked. "Thank you, Hyuuga Hinata." He then exited the room.

Temari straightened and followed after her youngest brother after giving a slight bow to the pale girl. "Thank you for defending my brother Hinata-san. You are quite remarkable."

Hinata stared oddly at the exiting blonde woman before Kankurou (who was following after Temari) explained with a sigh. "The bow? It's a normal thing in Suna. Done out of great respect and gratitude." Kankurou hadn't even looked at Hinata as he'd explained the bow.

Hinata stared a few seconds after the shinobi had disappeared from the room and then headed out as well.

Well today had been quite odd.

* * *

**A/N:** I know, I haven't updated this fic in FOREVER, and I'm really, really, _really_ sorry. I just hit a block with this fic and couldn't get past it, frankly I don't really like this chapter either. I'm REALLY sorry!

I'll try, as a new year's resolution, to update this fic at _least_ once a month. I'll try really hard!


	7. Air Ducts Are NOT A Fun Place to Hide In

_**Shrinked!**_

**Ch.7:** Air Ducts Are _Not_ a Fun Place to Hide In

* * *

"Ow!" Tenten whispered, "You're freakishly large elbow is poking me!" 

Temari scowled and dug her elbow further into the brunette's gut. "Shut up." She did scrunch up further to the left side of the tunnel, though, "Do you _want_ to get caught?"

Tenten snorted, scrunching up into the right side. "Oh, yeah, I'd really love to explain to Tsunade what I'm doing hiding in her air duct."

"It isn't _her_ air duct," Temari complained. "She doesn't own this building."

"It's the Hokage's office!" Tenten protested. "I'm sure us hiding in her air ducts will convince her we're really not insane."

"Hey! This was your stupid idea anyway."

"I never asked you to tag along!"

Temari snorted. "Like I was going to trust you to—"

"Shhh!" Tenten immediately hushed. "Someone's coming in."

Both girls peaked through the vertical slots of the air duct so they could peer inside the office they were currently hanging above.

"Tsunade-sama, thank you greatly for agreeing to see me."

"It's the bat!" Tenten whispered hurriedly. Temari elbowed her in the gut again to shut her up.

Tsunade's lips quirked up. "Well, I must say I am interested in what your…_conclusions_ are so far. You only have tomorrow left, correct?"

EnVee let out a small sigh. "You see, that's exactly what I wanted to discuss with you. After spending all this time with the young shinobi, I am strongly predisposed to believe that they are in need of more counseling. The Suna shinobi in particular."

Tenten muffled a giggle.

Temari glared at the brunette.

Tsunade eyed her curiously, "Well, as—"

"I've even brought you tapes to see, so you can form your own opinion. I'm sure you will see that I am in the right."

Tsunade waved at her. "Very well, show me the videos."

Tenten scowled. "I knew those 'video-taping sessions' were an evil product of her twisted plots."

Temari rolled her eyes. "You're a bit paranoid, you know that?"

"And you're a bit moody, you know _that_?" Tenten responded defensively.

"Hush up." Temari chastised as EnVee wheeled in a TV. The doctor hunched before it and slipped in a video. "She's gonna play the video."

Tenten looked at the TV. "I wonder if she's got everyone on that tape."

"I bet you she took everything out of context." Temari muttered dryly.

The TV flickered for a bit and then a form appeared.

**Shikamaru**

A lethargic brunette with a spiky ponytail stared blankly out of the screen.

"Figures Nara would be first." Temari muttered quietly.

Tenten stared at the blonde in astonishment. "Hold on, are you _jealous_ because he's _first_ on this whacko's video of horrors?"

"It's not…I…" Temari scowled. "_Oh_, shut it."

Tenten rolled her eyes.

The girls reverted their attention back to the screen.

EnVee's voice came from the video loud and clear. "So you don't care?" EnVee wasn't shown in the video as she was the one standing behind the camera which was pointing at the 'patient'.

Shikamaru yawned. "What's there to care about?"

"You must care about _something_."

"I want to sleep, does that count?"

"You don't care about your friends?"

"They can do what they want. It's no business of mine."

"…These sessions?"

He stared resolutely upward. "Troublesome."

"Is there anything you're passionate about?"

"Not really." He yawned. "Is this almost over?"

Temari rolled her eyes, "He's just wonderful isn't he?"

Tenten shrugged. "You gotta be weird to be a genius."

**Hinata **

That scene was quickly replaced with a pale indigo-haired girl sitting cross-legged on the plastic blue chair. The girl's face seemed frozen.

"Hinata?" The EnVee in the video questioned.

A large bright red started creeping up her face.

"Dear, are you quite alri—"

THUNK!

Hinata slipped to the side and fell to the floor loudly.

Temari blinked. "Well that was odd."

Tenten yawned. "It had to be Naruto related."

"She faints when—?"

"Quite often."

Temari inclined her head. "Weird."

**Chouji**

Next the person in the chair was replaced with a robust boy happily pulling chips out of big shiny linoleum bag. He was munching on them with remarkable zeal.

"Can you please put the chips away so we can—?"

"I'm hungry." He complained.

"But—"

"I'm hungry."

"We need to—"

Chouji glared at the screen. It was almost frightening. "I. Am. Hungry."

"Never get between a boy and his food." Temari mumbled absent-mindedly.

**Kankurou**

Temari grimaced as the next person came on. "This is not going to be pretty."

Tenten looked at the blonde. "Why—"

She was interrupted promptly by the puppeteer on the screen belting out. "MY FACE PAINT IS _NOT_ MAKE-UP!"

"You're being—"

"_Psychotic fucking lady_, how can you be expected to 'cure' me if—"

"We need to—"

"Ah, fuck it. I'm leaving!" Kankurou stormed out in a rage.

"Hey!" The EnVee in the video protested. "_Hey_! Come back!"

**Tenten **

"This is all taken out of context." Tenten whispered to Temari as Tenten herself appeared on the video.

Temari raised an eyebrow. "Knowing you, I'd doubt it."

Tenten glared.

"Now don't worry, this will be just like other sessions." EnVee said warmly to the agitated Tenten.

The brunette in the video was squirming and staring at the screen in suspicion. "Just like other sessions, my foot."

"Now, Tenten," EnVee said warmly, "how do you feel at this given point?"

"Like I'm being videotaped." Tenten muttered, slouching in her chair her arms crossed over her chest glaring at the screen.

"You don't like begin videotaped?"

"Easy question to ask when you're not sitting in front of the camera now isn't it?" The brunette in the video muttered.

"Now, Ten—"

"Ep!" The girl in the video exclaimed suddenly. "I demand you turn it off! For all I know you could be sucking out my brain cells with that magic lens on that camera!"

"That's not—"

"_Ad_mit it!"

"You're being paranoid." EnVee sighed in annoyance. "Would you please just—?"

The brunette in the video slouched further into her chair and glared at the screen. "Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean the world isn't out to get me."

Temari looked at the girl beside her. "Now that I think about it, you really are paranoid."

Tenten harrumphed. "So?"

Temari shrugged. "Just taking note."

**Shino**

Shino sighed then leant back in his chair.

"Good, now let's—"

Then a black frame seemed to slowly creep up on the screen halting any noise and removing all sight. Temari craned her head closer to the ventilation slots, afraid her vision was failing her.

"Oy, Blonde, what happened to the screen?"

"Don't call me 'Blonde'." Temari muttered. "I don't know what happ—_is that black crap moving_?!"

Tenten frowned.

Indeed the screen was only showing black now, but the blackness seemed to be glittering about and shifting in the oddest of ways.

The real-live EnVee cleared her throat. "Here, the young Aburame has covered the lens and microphone with his bugs. I hadn't even noticed, but I assure you it was one disturbing session."

Tenten scoffed.

Temari rolled her eyes.

**Gaara**

Tenten snickered. "Look, another of the disturbing Suna shinobi."

"Shut up." Temari muttered.

The red-head in the video stared coldly at the screen. "It would only be so easy to kill you, you know."

Temari winced. "_That's just great_."

"That's not what we're talking—"

"Shukaku," Gaara explained methodically, "says the sand can even kill you without leaving a trace – you just have to inhale a few grains."

EnVee coughed nervously. "Uh…"

"He says it's painful too."

Tenten looked at the blonde, "Can he really kill if you inhale a few grains?"

Temari muffled a biting laugh. "_Hell no_. He's making crap up again."

"Again?"

"Ever since Gaara's changed, he's absorbed Kankurou's unfailing ability to bullshit like the best of them just for kicks." She shifted position a bit. "Last week, they convinced Naruto that Gaara had kept around a stuffed animal for so long because it focuses and controls the energy of the demon inside."

Tenten giggled. "So _that's_ why Naruto's been carrying around a little stuffed toy fox."

**Kiba**

Kiba sat rigidly in the chair looking very uncomfortable. Quite suddenly, a white ball bounded out of his jacked toppling forward smacking presumably into the camera, so it shook to and fro sporadically before settling.

"Akamaru!" Kiba chastised while the screen was shaking.

"You had the _dog_ in your jacket?" EnVee muttered in disbelief.

"Uh…" Kiba laughed nervously. "N-no…He was…in my…my…my _lap_ the whole time…D-didn't you notice?"

Tenten snorted. "That's a fool-proof lie."

**Sakura**

A rigid, self-righteous pink haired girl stared at the screen. "I'm training to be a medic-nin, lady. I _know_ what you're doing."

"I'm not—"

"You can't fool me. Nothing gets by me."

"Because you're so clever?"

Tenten inhaled sharply. "Don't!" She whispered. "It's a trap!"

"Sh!" Temari hissed, secretly agreeing in the inside with the brunette beside her.

"Of course I am." Sakura answered haughtily. "I'm ten times smarter than you. You're just an obsessed quack."

**Ino**

A happy blonde appeared next during mide sentence. "And that's why…" Ino leaned forward into the screen. "Do I have a zit?"

Temari choked on her laughter. Tenten elbowed her, doing a slightly better job of muffling her own laughter.

"It's just a little thing," The EnVee in the video waved it off, "No—"

"Ack!" Ino squealed and covered up her nose. The skinny blonde, still covering her nose, jumped up and ran out.

"Ino!" EnVee called out. "_Come back_!"

**Lee**

Tenten groaned audibly as the black haired boy on the screen yelled out "The power of youth!"

"Can you please sit down?"

"It is not youthful to rest!"

"So you don't sleep?"

Lee smiled. "Of course I sleep! I will show you!!" Lee plopped onto the floor quickly and loudly. His round eyes closed promptly after.

Temari blinked. "Is he really sleeping?" She whispered.

"Oh, yeah." Tenten responded. "Wait for it. _Wait for it_."

Then a loud snore.

Temari snickered.

**Naruto**

"Believe it!"

Temari and Tenten groaned in unison.

"That's the twelfth time you've said that." EnVee muttered.

"Well, you—"

"You're the only one so far that's actually enjoyed this videotaping."

"I'm going to be a famous Hokage one day; I gotta leave behind a legacy."

Temari snorted. "Legacy?"

"What if you don't become Hokage?"

"I will! Believe it!"

Tenten blinked. "He's just a bundle of positivity isn't he?"

**Neji**

"…Will you please say something?" EnVee asked.

"Something."

"That's not what—" She sighed.

"I'm leaving now." With that the stoic Hyuuga stood and walked off.

"Hey! We're not done!"

There was a door slam.

Tenten giggled. "Looks to me like they're done."

**Temari**

Tenten smirked at the blonde beside her. "This'll be good."

Temari grimaced. "I'm sure you'll find it amusing."

The blonde in the video narrowed her eyes. "Who are you showing this video to?"

"No one, it's for my own personal—"

"Bullshit. Who?"

"I will just be storing it so I can review your case later in private."

"Tsunade, then?"

"No—"

Temari leant back in her chair. "I see." In one swift movement, her left foot twitched kicking up her heavy iron fan. The Suna nin caught it expertly in her left hand and swung it at the screen.

Then it all went black.

Tenten snickered. "How'd the quack manage to show Tusnade the video if you smashed the camera?"

"That's a damn good point." Temari muttered more than just a little peeved. "She's a tricky little creep."

Below the girls, Tsunade's lips twitched up into a smile. "You lied to her. You showed me the video."

Temari scowled. "Never trust a quack." She muttered.

"I told you I had a reason to be paranoid." Tenten defended.

"I'll believe you in future instances." Temari responded.

EnVee leaned forward. "Yes, well I had to show you the vid—"

Tsunade held up a hand hushing the woman's explanations. "Tomorrow, I expect to see their files. _Complete_. If I do not find sufficient reason and information, you will NOT continue these sessions; but otherwise, EnVee," Tsunade yawned, "I give you free reign."

EnVee smiled a sinister smile. "Of course, Tsunade-sama."

Temari scowled.

So did Tenten.

EnVee bowed out.

Carefully and quietly the two girls started making their way backwards out of the air duct.

Okay, _not-so_ quietly.

"Oww!" Tenten scowled, 'You're squishing me."

Temari pushed her. "And your wiry joints are boring holes into me."

"Heifer!" Tenten breathed.

"Twig." Temari spat.

"You—"

"Fuck—"

"Oww—"

Both girls halted their complaints as they felt the air duct dip lower. The heady sound of metal bending filled their senses.

"Oh, shit!" They both breathed in unison.

They both tried scrambling away quickly but that only made the duct dip lower and then—

CRASH!

"Fuck!" Temari cried.

"Cheese crackers." Tenten groaned. The brunette's eyes flicked open. "Jeez, Blonde, get _off_! You're damn heavy!"

Tenten indeed was sprawled awkwardly on the floor with a Temari plopped face-forward her waist resting on Tenten's chest.

Temari rolled off. "Ugh. I hate you."

"It's a mutual thing, then." Tenten grumbled.

"What," a new voice crooned in astonishment, "were you two doing?"

Temari and Tenten glanced up at the speaker.

"Hehe." Tenten laughed nervously. "_Hey_, Shikamaru…"

"Were you two dolts in the air ducts?" He questioned.

"I'm _not_ a dolt." Temari harrumphed defensively.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, "But you _were_ in the air ducts?"

"Yes." Both girls replied.

Shikamaru sighed. "Do I _want_ to know why?"

The girls looked at each other.

"Mm…" Tenten replied slowly. "Probably not…"

"_But_," Temari added, "You should know what we heard."

Tenten nodded. "_Everyone_ should. Oh!" Tenten snapped her fingers. "We need a plan!"

"A plan?" Temari questioned.

"Yeah!" Like…'Operation: destroy the documents'."

Temari blinked. "Good idea, but, that's a lame-ass name."

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"What, are you _four_?" Shikamaru grumbled. "Why do we need a 'plan' anywa—"

"She plans to subject us to more sessions!" Temari butt in.

His eyes started twitching. "Please tell me that fall addled your senses, and what you just said has no real truth behind it."

"That's why we need a plan.' Tenten explained. "If we destroy the documents, there's no proof; if there's no proof, Tsunade won't let her shrink us anymore." Tenten paused. "We should do it at your hotel, Temari."

The blonde frowned. "Why?" She asked curiously.

"Duh, no parents."

"Oh." She shrugged. "Okay." It couldn't end that bad right?

"Alright! We'll have everyone there within an hour!" Tenten paused, a frown spreading on her lips. "By the way, where do you live?"

Shikamaru laughed.

* * *

**A/N:**_I'm back_! I intended this chapter to be longer, but I figured then the whole thing will just drag on and on and on. Probably best to split it up here.

-_Gasp_!- There's a beta-reader linky thing on my account thingy! I must've been gone for awhile. Anyone care to explain what that's all about?


	8. Plans and Final Session!

**_Shrinked!_**

**Ch.8: **Plans and Final Session!

* * *

_**Last time:**_

"_That's why we need a plan.' Tenten explained. "If we destroy the documents, there's no proof; if there's no proof, Tsunade won't let her shrink us anymore." Tenten paused. "We should do it at your hotel, Temari."_

_The blonde frowned. "Why?" She asked curiously._

"_Duh, no parents."_

"_Oh." She shrugged. "Okay." It couldn't end that bad right?_

"_Alright! We'll have everyone there within an hour!" Tenten paused, a frown spreading on her lips. "By the way, where do you live?"_

_Shikamaru laughed._

**xXxXx – at Temari's hotel – xXxXx**

Thirty minutes later, the 14 young shionbi were cramped in the hotel room. They were all chattering at once (a few people yelling) and Temari was sinking further and further into her seat regretting agreeing to allowing the 'plan' to be created at her hotel.

She was sure that a couple lamps had been broken and more than a little afraid that someone had damaged the TV. She really didn't want to pay for all the destruction.

Shikamaru sunk beside her into the couch with a smirk on his lips.

Temari itched to slap the dammed expression off his smug face. "Shut up." She grumbled.

"I didn't say anything."

"You were going to."

He smirked again. "Maybe."

"Gah!" Tenten exclaimed in exasperation. The brunette stood before the shadow user and the wind mistress an irate expression on her face. She glared at the Chuunin. "Do me a favor and be leader for today, yeah?"

Shikamaru stared at her impassively for a second before letting out a heavy sigh. "Fine." He grumbled.

Temari was more than just a little bit surprised that he agreed so readily. She reasoned he probably just wanted the whole meeting to end and an actual plan to be formed.

"Naruto!" Shikamaru called, still not moving from his seat.

The blonde boy turned around instantly. "What?"

"Get everyone to shut up, will you? We aren't going to accomplish anything _this_ way."

Naruto blinked and then, "_HEY_!" Naruto yelled louder than anybody Temari had ever heard. She saw quite a few people wince. "EVERYONE SHUT UP!"

Sakura grimaced holding her ears. "Okay! We're quiet!"

Shikamaru looked over at Tenten. "Are you sure you still want me to be leader?"

Before Tenten could respond Temari kicked him swiftly. "Yes, idiot."

Languidly, Shikamaru stood from the couch. "Right, now that you all absorbed the possibility of extended sessions with the shrink—" There was a loud burst of chatter. Shikamaru gave Naruto a look, and the chatter was immediately silenced by an intake of breath from Naruto obviously about to yell again. "So," Shikamaru continued, "it's imperative we avoid this possibility. Therefore, priority one is to destroy our files."

"So…" Ino mused out loud. "We break in and steal them?"

"Probably easier if we just take them during our last session." Kiba said. "Someone's last session anyway."

"Make sense," Neji (whom was leaning against the wall) replied.

The phone started ringing.

Everyone in the room then starting looking around their area; they looked under cushions and broken shards of lamp carefully trying to figure out where the ringing contraption was located at.

Gaara was the one to find it. (It was under a pillow.) "…Hello?"

"Gaara-kun!" The excited chirp from the phone was heard by all the shinobi. All of them shrunk back in trepidation. That receptionist was scarier than EnVee.

"Don't…call me… 'kun'." Gaara said slowly.

"Why don't be a silly goose, Gaara-kun!" She chirped happily. "Anywho! You and Kankurou's session will be at five tomorrow."

Gaara hesitated. "Will this be another…group session or…"

"WONDROUS ENVEE HAS DECIDED TO SPLIT THE SESSIONS IN TWO. First group at five, second at six. Be a dear and tell Temari she's in the second group."

"Ok, Thank—"

"SHE'S SUCH A VIOLENT—"

Gaara hung up the phone quickly, casting wary looks at his sister. There might have been bloodshed if he had let the receptionist continue.

"So…" Kiba mused aloud, "While the quack is…ahem…treating the first lot, the second lot breaks in."

Shikamaru was busy drawing on a spare bit of paper he pulled out somewhere. "Seems good, we have a distraction downstairs so no one will see the other group go in. And upstairs someone waits outside the treating room in case another distraction is needed. Then the rest go off into her office where one keeps watch outside the door, leaving at least two people to search for the documents if the distractions take more than one person."

Everyone looked over the drawing and nodded.

"Ano…We d-don't know," Hinata said timidly, "who's in what group right now. Well, except for Temari-san, Kankurou-san, and Gaara-san."

Kankurou shrugged. "So you lot just go home and wait for the receptionist's call. I don't think it matters who's paired up, someone will be able to make it work, and if that fails the first group can get a shot during the second group's session."

Temari blinked. "My heavens, when did you acquire a brain?"

Kankurou scowled. "Bitch."

Temari rolled her eyes at her younger brother. "Freak."

The loud chatter began to fill the room again. "HEY! HEY!" Tenten exclaimed loudly. "Don't forget what we've discussed! Group two will meet outside of EnVee's building fifteen minutes prior to group one's meeting!"

The shinobi bounded out of the room still chattering away.

The only ones left inside the room consisted of Temari, Kanurou, Gaara, Shikamaru, Hinata, and Kiba.

"Hey, Lazy," Temari sat up from her perch on the couch looking at the lanky boy. "I've been wondering what you said to Hinata in our group session."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"You know, when you whispered to her." Temari prompted.

Shikamaru yawned.

Temari scowled.

"Ano…" Hinata began, choosing to explain for fear that might start arguing, "He told me I was a n-nice person. A-and he admired that…" Hinata _really_ didn't like quarrels.

Kiba scoffed, "Of course you're nice; you're _too_ nice."

Hinata shuffled her feet.

"Kindness is not a vice." Gaara said staring in confusion at Kiba.

He shrugged in response. "I'm not saying it is." Akamaru yipped about on the floor. "She just needs to be mean once in a while. Set fire to EnVee's office or something."

Temari snickered. "Nice to see what you think the cure to her kindness is." She straightened, "Personally," Temari continued seriously, "I think she's just fine."

"Thank you, Temari-san." Hinata mumbled quietly.

"You can drop the suffix. We're friends Hinata-_chan_."

Hinata blushed a bit. Being friends with Temari of the sand was a little bit of a scary thing. In a good way, mind you, but scary nonetheless.

"Bullying your way into getting friends," Kankurou teased, "Not nice. Can't you see poor Hinata doesn't want to be your friend?"

"Oh, shut it, puppet boy." Temari growled.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes at them. "Sometimes, woman, I can swear you're extremely intelligent and wise; other times, I begin to wonder if you're really as old as you say you are."

Kankurou laughed.

Gaara's lips twitched up into a smile. "Nara, if I were you," He warned slowly, the red head eyes shining with mirth as he looked at the blonde, "I'd run."

Shikamaru didn't need to be told twice. He was out the door in a flash with an irate Temari tailing after him.

"GET BACK HERE!"

Kiba laughed.

**xXxXx – Session 4: Group 1 – xXxXx**

It was a different room this time: smaller, with white walls and a soft plush light blue carpet. The lights above had yellow tissue paper taped over them, giving the room a sickly lemon glow. It was also lacking entirely in furniture.

Kankurou disliked the room instantly.

Upon entering he found the young pale Hyuuga heiress in the middle of the room sitting cross legged upon the floor. She was humming something softly and her eyes were closed. A little bit away from the girl to the left were Neji and Shino talking quietly by a window. Or at least, Kankurou imagined they were talking. Chouji was lying on the floor as well, not too far from Hinata, doing nothing but staring up at the ceiling.

Without a word, Kanurou felt his younger brother leave his side and sit down next to Hinata. The girl's eyes flickered open in shock for a brief moment, then her eyes softened and she smiled timidly.

Kankurou found the entirety of Gaara's actions a bit odd (odd in his case being normal) but said nothing about it. Instead he settled beside the bored looking Chouji. "'The hell's the furniture?"

Chouji sat up and shrugged. "Who knows?"

Kankurou didn't like this; he imagined this would not be a happy session. What kind of person shoved volatile shinobi in a furniture-less room? That was a dangerous thing.

"No paint?" Chouji questioned curiously.

Kankurou shrugged. "Temari broke my bottles. I'm out." He really did feel a bit odd without it, but nothing overly severe. He really should've learned by now not to mess with Temari's things. At least he'd managed to cover Temari in purple paint in the process. Paint, she was unable to remove correctly.

"Well, hello, my dears!" EnVee said cheerfully as she entered the room. "Nice to see you all again!"

No one said a thing in reply. The silence she was greeted with would have actually been funny if the situation itself wasn't so annoying.

"Isn't someone missing?" EnVee clucked as if she hadn't noticed the silent hostility at all.

"Shikamaru." Chouji answered. "He tends to be late to everything."

Oddly enough, at that exact moment, Shikamaru chose to enter the room. The lazy shinobi stood at the door in confusion taking in the entire room. He raised an eyebrow at the surroundings. "What'd you do with the furniture?"

"It's restricting. I've decided we could get to the heart of the matter much easier without such overbearing nuisances."

"What does she sleep on the floor?" Kankurou grumbled.

Chouji snickered quietly.

EnVee clucked. "Now, please, everyone sit on the floor."

Neji and Shino looked a bit awkward at being told to sit on the floor but they complied.

"Well, I—"" EnVee gasped suddenly, her piercing eyes focusing on Kankurou. "Why, dear! What happened with your make-up?"

Gaara stifled a laugh.

Kankurou tried resisting the urge to throw something at the woman. "It is _not_ make-up."

"That doesn't answer the question, dear; why aren't you—"

"Because I'm out, okay?" He muttered through clenched teeth. Under his breath he added. "I couldn't have had the second session could I?"

EnVee's eyebrows creased. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could utter a word Hinata butt in. "I have a question!"

EnVee shook her head as if clearing it. "Yes?"

"Why'd you s-split us up this way?"

"I thought your personalities went well together—"

"We're the quieter ones." Shikamaru muttered stretching comfortably onto the plush carpet. "You know, in general. We don't offer information much willingly; unlike the others." He yawned. "She probably thinks we're antisocial or something."

"That's not—" EnVee began to protest.

"Ah," Hinata said thoughtfully. "It does make sense now."

"That is _not_—"

"A bad grouping if you ask me." Neji interrupted her. "I would've evened the m out. Or put them with someone they're annoyed with. You'd get more information that way."

"That would work better." Chouji confirmed.

"Much." Shino agreed.

"ENOUGH!" EnVee looked beyond irked. "We are not here to talk about _my_ decisions."

"Well, it's only fair," Kankurou explained, "that we talk over yours if we _must_ talk over ours."

"We haven't talked about yours at all!" She exclaimed in agitation.

"Well, whose fault is that?" Kankurou questioned.

"_Yours_!"

The puppeteer nodded. "Precisely."

EnVee sighed. "Ugh. Let's just…Let's just begin."

"We haven't b-begun?" Hinata chimed. "I thought we were well underway into g-getting into your deeper issues."

"I think you're making excellent progress EnVee." Kankurou added. "You're not nearly as nutty as before."

"Perhaps," Neji added, "We should discuss your emotions. Now does your name do anything to signify the bridling jealously bubbling within you?"

"Ah," Shikamaru added with a smirk, "so this pointless psychological torture you give us is only your attack on not being able to become a shinobi yourself." **(1)**

EnVee raised her hands to her head and massaged her temple.

She _hated_ kids.

* * *

**A/N:**Alright, there's about two more chapters left in this story, which I've had finished for about two months now, I just haven't gotten around to typing them up. I was involved entirely with a different story. But now that I've more or less finished it, I can focus on typing this one up.

The reason it's taking me so long, is I'm not entirely too fond of this story anymore. But I started it, and I will finish it!

**(1)** The EnVee being jealous stint was kittydemon18's suggestion to me in a review.


	9. Operation: Well It's STILL Nameless!

**_Shrinked!_**

**Ch.9:** Operation: (Well, it's _Still_ Nameless)!

* * *

_**Last time:**_

"_ENOUGH!" EnVee looked beyond irked. "We are not here to talk about __**my**__ decisions."_

"_Well, it's only fair," Kankurou explained, "that we talk over yours if we __**must**__ talk over ours."_

"_We haven't talked about yours at all!" She exclaimed in agitation._

"_Well, whose fault is that?" Kankurou questioned._

"_**Yours**__!"_

_The puppeteer nodded. "Precisely."_

_EnVee sighed. "Ugh. Let's just…Let's just begin."_

"_We haven't b-begun?" Hinata chimed. "I thought we were well underway into g-getting into your deeper issues."_

"_I think you're making excellent progress EnVee." Kankurou added. "You're not nearly as nutty as before."_

"_Perhaps," Neji added, "We should discuss your emotions. Now does your name do anything to signify the bridling jealously bubbling within you?"_

"_Ah," Shikamaru added with a smirk, "so this pointless psychological torture you give us is only your attack on not being able to become a shinobi yourself."_

_EnVee raised her hands to her head and massaged her temple._

_She __**hated**__ kids._

* * *

Ino raised an eyebrow at the approaching Suna kunoichi.

"What?" Temari growled in annoyance.

"You do realize you're covered in purple paint?"

The blonde gritted her teeth. "Yes, Yamanka, I'm well aware."

Tenten snickered.

"What?!" Temari demanded of the brunette.

The brunette smirked. "Nothing."

Temari looked just about ready to hit her.

"We shouldn't be arguing." Kiba pointed out.

"Yeah, Ino-pig," Sakura said, "quit disrupting."

Ino glared. "Shut up, forehead girl!"

Sakura scoffed. "Make me."

"Oy!" Temari snapped. "Quit this shit. We have an objective remember?"

Both girls harrumphed but ceased their argument.

Temari pursed her lips looking around at the gathered group. "Where's the future Hokage and Lee?"

"HEY!" Kiba complained loudly as a speedy blond blur collided with him. He toppled to the floor, the blonde falling on top of him. "Dammit, Naruto!" Kiba pushed the blonde off of him. "Watch where you're going!"

"A shinobi should be aware of his surroundings." Naruto defended

"A shinobi should be able to avoid crashing into a human-sized object."

The two boys started bickering.

Ino sighed. "_Boys_. Don't they realize we have an objective?"

"I _know_." Sakura agreed.

Tenten choked on her laughter.

Temari could feel her eyebrow twitching. "It's not just _boys_." Did _everyone_ in Konoha have selective memory?

Sakura looked at her. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"That you—" Temari halted as Tenten elbowed her sharply. "Ano…Nothing?"

"Sorry I am late!" Lee breathed suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

"It's fine." Temari said as Ino's eyes narrowed at her.

Sheez, what did she do now?

"You—" Whatever Ino was going to say died as Tenten let out a low whistle interrupting any current conversations.

"Yo! Plan status, dudes."

Temari raised an eyebrow. "'Dudes'?"

"Do you _really_ want to question my choice of words now?"

Naruto pumped the air. "She's right. We must start Operation: Naruto!"

"Baka!" Sakura cried loudly. "That's not what it's called!"

Akamaru yipped.

"Hey," Kiba said slowly, "What _is_ it called?"

The shinobi looked at each other. "Um…"

"Does it really matter?" A lazy voice drawled.

"Shikamaru!" Ino squeaked in surprise.

Temari winced. Sometimes Ino's voice came out rather sharp. "Oy, Lazy, aren't you supposed to be in your session right now?"

He shrugged. "I guess I'm running late." He yawned. "Besides, I couldn't really trust you to carry out the 'operation'. It seems I was right. All you're doing is bickering about the name."

Temari kicked him sharply. "Shut up, idiot."

Shikamaru winced and rubbed his shin. "Ino, Sakura, you two start bickering as is your custom in the lobby – louder than usual please." Shikamaru began giving orders lazily, "The rest of you will make your way in at that point. Naruto will hide out outside the session room ready to create a distraction if necessary – you do that without trying it should be easy for you. Then the rest of you will find her office. Kiba will stand guard and the rest look for her files. Are we clear?"

Temari blinked. "Why—" She closed her mouth immediately realizing his plant was actually well thought out. Pfft. Guess he did deserve Chuunin status.

Tenten sniffed. "Bossy, man, and here I thought you were lazy."

Naruto and Kiba snickered.

"Hai! What a youthful plan" Lee cried joyously.

"I think becoming a Chuunin has gone to your head." Ino added dryly.

Sakura just stared at him blankly. "Did you just come up with that?"

"He's a genius. Gotta make up for his laziness somehow." Ino then snapped her fingers in Shikamaru's face. "Go to your session before you're any later."

"The quack's always late anyway." Shikamaru grumbled, but did head off in the building's direction. "Don't screw up too bad. I hate cleaning up messes I didn't make."

Temari scowled. "Jackass!"

Tenten snickered again.

"What so funny, girlie?" Temari snapped.

"You'll see in due time, Blonde."

Temari tried hard not to hit her. Couldn't decapitate her _yet_; she was needed for Operation _Nameless_.

**xXxXx – Phase 1 of Operation: Nameless – xXxXx**

"You act like you're so high and mighty just because you're training to be a medic-nin!" Ino shouted. "You aren't that special!"

"At least _I'm_ doing something!" Sakura spat back.

"Ladies!" The receptionist could be heard yelling over the ruckus, scolding them in an oddly cheery voice. "There is no need for shouting!"

"She must love this." Temari whispered to Kiba beside her. "Finally her yelling is justified."

Kiba smirked. "She does seem a tad happier than usual."

"I bet," Tenten mumbled, "she used to be a grumpy pessimist before EnVee's sessions."

"Fucked _her_ up." Naruto added

Lee said nothing, but he seemed to entirely agree.

CRASH.

"Yow!" Tenten inhaled sharply. "Did they have to break a vase? It looked expensive."

"Hey," Temari protested. "They can do whatever they want. All I know, is they broke it, so they buy it. I'm not chipping in."

"INO-PIG!"

"Now is a good time, do you not think so?" Lee questioned.

"Aye." Tenten nodded, "Let's skiddat."

They shuffled quietly and sneakily through the room, avoiding objected being thrown and hoping their eardrums wouldn't puncture from all the yelling.

They slipped through the door.

"We are in!" Lee said happily.

Tenten nodded. "Goodie." She looked at Kiba and Akamaru. "Where to now?"

**xXxXx – Phase 2 of Operation: Nameless – xXxXx**

They halted behind Kiba at the end of a corridor. "Okay, the session is being held on the third door to the right that way." He pointed to the left. "EnVee's office is that way, last door on the right. Akamaru will go with you Naruto. He'll bark if he senses anyone coming and bark twice consecutively if a distraction is needed for EnVee."

Naruto nodded.

The group split again.

Kiba, Temari, Tenten and Lee headed quickly and stealthily to EnVee's office.

Lee's hand wrapped around the door handle and pushed the door open.

Temari blinked stepping inside. "Fuck."

"What?" Tenten asked absently.

"This looks nothing like how I'd expected the devil's office to appear."

Kiba laughed at Temari's comment. "Just get the files already." The brown haired boy was busy making sure nobody was coming or going. "I don't think Ino and Sakura can keep yelling for much longer."

"Right…" Temari muttered.

Tenten settled behind the desk and started pulling open drawers at random.

The room was medium-sized, with cream colored walls and a soft cream carpet. An oak desk right smack in the middle, some bookcases lined on the wall, and metal filing cabinets on the left side of the room.

It was too _white_ to be the devil's office, Temari mused; then again…white _was_ the symbol of 'evil' in certain cultures. Temari sighed and started looking through the bookcase.

She figured it was highly unlikely EnVee had the files hidden in a bookcase, but it wouldn't hurt to check. EnVee _was_ a bit batty after all.

CRASH

"Lee!" Tenten hissed.

Temari turned. The dark-haired boy was sprawled on the floor, one of the metal cabinets on the floor as well, with papers fluttering around him like falling birds.

That wasn't good.

_Someone_ had to have heard that.

"You're supposed to be quiet—" Tenten hissed, but stopped short as the chair beneath her seemed to wobble and collapse on the floor uttering a hoarse crash throughout the room.

Temari groaned.

Some infiltration operation.

"What?" Tenten defended. "The quack has poorly constructed furniture."

"Which was exactly why were being careful!" Temari hissed.

"Oy!" Kiba interrupted. "You idiots are making too much noise! Hurry! You've only got about two minutes before the nurse shows up!"

"Damn." Temari kicked the bookcase in annoyance. "Let's just…" She paused as a few book toppled to the floor revealing some manila folders. One of which had _her_ name on it. "Jackpot." She grinned.

"Let's _go_!" Kiba called agitated.

"Where," a new voice chimed threateningly, "exactly do you plan to go?"

Kiba groaned. "Oh, damn."

**xXxXx –Operation Nameless: **_**Failure**_** – xXxXx**

"Ow, ow, ow, _ow_!" Temari whined as she entered the room.

The normally cheery receptionist was holding Temari's ear between her forefinger and her thumb twisting it and puling her along. Temari being stubborn was resisting. Which caused her ear _much_ pain. If she weren't as nice as she was she might've attempted to beat up the receptionist. Well, that beating up the receptionist might affect her record negatively. Temari twisted away from her grip as soon as they entered. She lifted her hand to her ear and rubbed it gently. "Psycho." She muttered under her breath giving the receptionist, the evilest look she could muster.

Kankurou snickered. "Does the poor lady twisting your ear bother you soo much, sister dearest?"

"Shut it, puppet—" Temari blinked. "The hell happened to you guys?"

Gaara, Kankurou, Hinata, and Chouji were covered in bright blue paint. Shikamaru, Shino, and Neji were covered in red paint. EnVee was an odd resonating purple. Naruto had specks of red dusting his figure. The floor too was splattered with paint, and EnVee looked ready to pop a lid.

"What," EnVee wheezed, "are they doing here?"

Temari raised her hand. "I asked a question first. It's rude to ignore me."

EnVee glared at her.

"Interactive therapy." Chouji explained, "Got out of hand I think."

Tenten leaned toward Temari. "You think EnVee's ready to snap?"

"So ready." Temari grumbled back.

"_They_," The receptionist replied sharply, "were trying to steal your files." What happened to the nice cheery slightly crazy lady?

EnVee's eyes boggled.

"Blasphemy!" Lee called.

"Lies!" Kiba said.

"They _destroyed_ your office." The receptionist continued.

A soft chuckle could be heard coming from Shino.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Did you really?"

"Nope." Tenten responded. The receptionist glared at her. "Well, it's true!" Tenten protested. "We only broke one of her file cabinets and her chair."

"And the window." Temari added.

"And the window." Tenten confirmed.

"And her bookcases." Lee said thoughtfully.

"And her bookcases." Tenten confirmed.

Kiba stretched. "And the door."

"And the door." Tenten confirmed with a final nod.

The paint splattered shinboi stared at her in shock.

She shrugged. "We didn't destroy the office. Just _parts_ of it."

"YOU STUPID CHILDREN!" EnVee screamed. The woman shut her mouth quickly and closed her eyes. She seemed to be attempting a breathing exercise.

Akamaru started yapping, disturbing the psychiatrist's train of thought.

"Where are Ino and Sakura?" Chouji questioned.

Temari stretched. "They cased distraction number one. So they're probably still arguing downstairs."

Kiba nodded. "Yep."

EnVee looked at the receptionist. "Would you excuse us?" She managed to spit through gritted teeth.

"That lady has got one sharp temper for such a cheery freak." Kankurou muttered dryly as the receptionist ambled out.

"LISTEN, YOU, I WILL NOT HAVE YOU IDIOTS RUINING MY—"

Shikamaru leaned into Temari. "Did you manage to get the files at least?"

"Nope." Tenten said at the same time that Temari answered "Yes."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"I got one." Temari clarified.

"Who's?"

Tenten stepped forcefully on Temari's foot. Temari glared at the brunette.

"_Well_?" Naruto asked impatiently. Each shinobi watched EnVee rant out of the corner of their eye to gauge how much longer they had.

"Shikamaru's." Temari responded.

Everyone (with the exception of Gaara, Hinata, and Chouji, and well, Temari) groaned.

"What?" Temari asked.

Naruto scowled. "Now that you've told him _he's_ clear, he won't help _us_."

Temari blinked. "You will help, won't you, Lazy?"

Shikamaru stared at her.

"You _will_, right, Lazy?" She repeated tersely.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru grumbled. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Since you asked so _nicely_," he rolled his eyes, "I guess I have to."

Temari grinned.

"HEY!" EnVee screamed. "ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!?"

She was met with a chorus of, "No".

EnVee's eyebrow was twitching. "If it's the last thing I do, I'll—" EnVee's eyes went wide and the doctor fell to the floor with a thud.

"What…" Temari mumbled, "was that?"

Tenten blinked innocently, a staff in her hand. "Uh…My hand slipped?"

Neji stared at her. "Where'd you get the staff?"

She held up a summoning scroll.

The edge of Kankurou's lips twitched upward. "So, the staff being summoned, was that an accident too?

She shrugged. "Crazier things have happened."

"I hope you realize we're all in BIG trouble." Kiba interrupted.

They all looked at him.

"Why do you say that?" Lee questioned.

Akamaru yapped. "I don't know if you've noticed but your actions today certainly mark us as crazy, and what's worse we haven't' destroyed any files."

"Hn." Neji mumbled.

Naruto groaned.

Temari sighed. "That _is_ a problem."

"You think?" Naruto muttered sarcastically.

"No need to get snippy, bo—" Temari stopped abruptly. "Where's Gaara?"

The group looked around.

"And Hinata?" Tented added.

Just then, Hinata stumbled in looking very shocked, with a smirking Gaara behind her.

"Where did you two _go_?" Tenten asked in exasperation. She was deeply annoyed those two managed to escape EnVee's lecture – tantrum – whatever.

"Um…" Hianta scratched her head. "I…I did bad…"

"What bad?" Shino asked.

"I…k-kind of…" She hesitated. "…s-sort of…m-might h-have…_setfiretoEnVee'soffice_."

"Come again?" Kankurou said.

"What did you say you did, Hinata?" Naruto asked in confusion.

Hinata turned bright red and stumbled back, fainting. Her small body swerved to the floor, but Gaara grasped her arms, keeping her up.

"Gaara?" Temari asked in exasperation. "What did she do?"

Gaara's smile became evermore pronounced. "We should get everyone…out of the building."

"_Why_?"

"Hinata set fire to EnVee's office. It's spreading pretty quickly."

Everyone gaped at Gaara.

"You're not joking are you?" Kiba asked in astonishment as he recalled what he'd said to Hinata just yesterday.

"Truth." Gaara confirmed.

"Shit." Kiba grumbled. "I gotta stop saying things."

Quickly, the eleven (fourteen when Hinata had woken up and they informed Ino and Sakura) shinobi managed to get everyone out of the building.

They even had the kindness to get an unconscious EnVee out of the building.

Kankurou looked at the shrink. "I still say we should've left her in there."

Temari and Tenten simultaneously slapped him. One on each side of his head.

Well, operation: _whatever-the-hell-it-was-called_, wasn't an entire failure.

* * *

**A/N:**One more chapter and it's finished.


	10. I KNOW We're Crazy

**_Shrinked!_**

**Ch.10:** I _Know_ I'm Crazy

* * *

**A/N: **One quick thing before you begin. Sociopath is a term for a psychological disorder. Anti-social personality disorder. Basically a sociopath is a person who, in layman's terms, seems to feel no empathy nor have a conscience. It's a little more complex than that, but that'll suffice for the small mention in this chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

_**Last time:**_

_Quickly, the eleven (fourteen when Hinata had woken up and they informed Ino and Sakura) shinobi managed to get everyone out of the building._

_They even had the kindness to get an unconscious EnVee out of the building._

_Kankurou looked at the shrink. "I still say we should've left her in there."_

_Temari and Tenten simultaneously slapped him. One on each side of his head._

_Well, operation__**: whatever-the-hell-it-was-called**__, wasn't an entire failure._

* * *

The fourteen young shinobi lounged outside the building and watched the flickering flames as people skittered about anxiously trying to put them out.

They all thought that perhaps they should be helping extinguish the flames, but in the words of Kankurou "Put me near that building, and I'll be more inclined to speed the spreading of the fire rather than putting it out." They were all quite sure that they might feel inclined to do more damage than good if they neared the building.

Rather, Gaara, Shino, Kankurou, Shikamaru, Hinata, Neji, Ino, Chouji, Sakura, Kiba, Lee, and Naruto, were all plopped on the grass talking away amiably as if the building itself really weren't falling apart amidst a smoldering fire. To the left of the chipper group was sprawled an unconscious EnVee they had all forgotten about. A bit further off to the right, Temari was comfortably settled on a grassy knoll, a manila folder open on her lap. Her lips quirked into a smile as her green eyes scanned the papers before her.

Quite suddenly, the folder was snatched from her lap.

"Hey!" She complained; it had just started to get good.

Shikamaru took a seat in front of her snapping the folder shut, hiding it's deliciously appealing contents from the open air. "Now, you shouldn't be poking your head where it doesn't belong, woman."

"Who says my head doesn't belong where I choose to stick it?" She shot back.

Temari tried to take the folder back from his grip, but the lazy shinobi merely held it out of her reach with a self-satisfied smirk on his lips.

"Excuse me," She said haughtily, "I was reading that. Quit being rude and hand it back to me."

"You mean, you were reading _my_ psychological profile?"

"Yes, sir!"

He raised an eyebrow. "So, I'm 'sir' now?"

"Just for today." She explained, reaching once more for the folder, "Now give that back to me!"

He held it away from her again, shaking it in the air as if taunting her.

"Jerk." She mumbled never ceasing in her attempts to take the folder back from him. When did he get so damn tall? Finally, fully aggravated, Temari pushed him backward onto the floor so that he was lying on his back. Before he could move an inch, Temari sat on top of him, and pried the tan folder from his hands triumphantly. "I. Was. Reading." She rolled off of him, lying down so she was right beside him, close enough so that her arms occasionally brushed against him and electrical jolts seemed to flicker between them from the close proximity.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes at her, although inside he was seemingly pleased with the result.

After a while, Temari started shaking uncontrollably with silent laughter.

Shikamaru stared at her. "What?"

The cream folder slipped from her poised fingers and she rolled on her side still laughing uncontrollably.

Shikamaru sighed in annoyance.

She heaved with laughter. "Sh-Sh-She c-called you a…" She had a large bout of laughter, "S-s-sociopath."

He raised an eyebrow and reached for the manila folder. "No joke?"

"No joke." She confirmed with a grin.

"A sociopath?" he muttered incredulous. "That's…that's…."

"Hilarious." Temari giggled.

"Moronic." Shikamaru corrected.

Temari snickered. "Poor crybaby. Do you really feel no empathy?"

"If that were true could I really be a crybaby?"

Temari sighed happily. "She's mad."

"No doubt."

"Good thing the evidence is burnt."

His lips quirked up into a smile. "Why's that?"

"We're mad too; just not the way the quack imagined."

**xXxXx**

"Naruto! You eat like a pig!" Ino complained loudly.

"I'm fwehwebayrin." Naruto mumbled through a mouth full of ramen noodles.

Ino wrinkled her nose. "Chew then talk. No one can understand you."

"He said he's celebrating." Kiba clarified.

Ino stared at the Inuzaka in confusion. "_How_ can you understand him?"

Kiba blinked. "I thought it was pretty obvious." He looked around at the other shinobi. "Wasn't it?"

He was greeted with ten heads shaking 'no'.

Kiba shrugged. "In that case, I have no idea how I understood."

Somehow that one statement resulted in Naruto and Gaara having a ramen eating contest; Tenten, Kiba, and Chouji inventing a language of pure gibberish; Ino playing with Hinata's hair; Shino and Lee discussing the positive and negative points of his green jumpsuit; and Sakura, Neji, and Kankurou discussing the finer points of chakra usage when it came to noodle making.

Naturally, Naruto won the contest, although just barely.

Also to be expected, the gibberish language started to get on Ino and Neji's nerves resulting in a shouting match between Tenten and Neji (if it could really be called a shouting match since Tenten was doing all the screaming and Neji was mostly just glaring and talking all gravely-like), and a nice lump on the top of Kiba's head. Chouji only got off scot-free because he was smart enough to shut up upon seeing Ino's deathly glare.

Then all the yelling Tenten was doing to Neji started to annoy Hinata of all people, who decided she'd had enough and pulled on Neji's shirt till the Hyuuga plopped down onto the chair. "You're giving me a headache." She grumbled.

Tenten slumped to her chair. "Sorry, Hinata. Neji's just such a _jerk_ sometimes." She glared at the Hyuuga.

"And sometimes you're just _unreasonable_." Neji countered.

"Yeouch! Ino! That hurt!" Hinata complained halting another possible argument between Neji and Tenten, as Ino pulled Hinata's hair particularly hard.

Ino giggled. "Sorry."

"It is wonderful outfit!" Lee exclaimed happily to Shino.

Shino's disbelieving smile could be seen clearly by all the other shinobi.

Sakura laughed cheerily. "This is fun."

Tenten straightened up from her chair and looked at the rest. "Hey, guys, I have a question."

"What is it?" Hinata asked.

"Well…" Tenten chewed on her lower lip. "Do you guys think we really are crazy? I mean, Tsunade approved of the sessions for a reason after all."

Kankurou yawned. "Well, you have to admit our behavior isn't exactly normal."

Tenten scowled. "For someone who thinks his behavior isn't normal you're certainly passive about it."

Kankurou shrugged. "Who wants to be normal?"

"Besides," Hinata added. "Normal is boring. Normal is for people who do nothing but sit at home and watch TV all day."

"And really when you think about it," Sakura continued, "nobody is really 'normal'. Everyone's a little wacky."

"So…you're saying that all of us are crazy?" Tenten asked calmly, mulling over the thought.

"Tenten," Temari laughed appearing out of nowhere with an apathetic Shikamaru behind her, "you shouldn't even have to _ask_ that question. Of _course_ we're insane."

"So says possibly the craziest woman here. Should you _really_ take her word for it?" Shikamaru grumbled absently.

Temari smacked him upside the head. "Don't be rude."

Shikamaru rubbed the back of his head. "Whatever, woman."

Hinata sniggered. "You know, despite EnVee's obvious failure, it makes me wonder."

"What does?" Gaara asked.

"Well…while we're certainly a bit eccentric…we did have problems, which don't seem quite so pronounced anymore."

This took the fourteen shinobi for a loop.

Finally, Temari spoke. "Do you think we were duped? I mean, do you think this was her plan all along?"

After a few seconds Shikamaru shook his head. "There's no way. She'd have to be insane to have planned all that. Not only would she have to be a superb actor, but she'd certainly have to be more intelligent than the data sheets say her IQ is to think up a plan like that."

Naruto gaped at Shikamaru. "You looked up her statistics?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "I wanted to know what I was getting into."

**xXxXx**

Tsunade tried very hard to stifle the grin that was making its way upon her features. "Well…" she cleared her throat. "What are your…erm…reports?"

"I. Don't. Have. Them." EnVee spat out. "Those – Those _hooligans_ burned them!"

Tsunade tried again to maintain her composure. "Do you have proof?"

"I-you-it-You want _proof_!?" She practically screamed. "They broke into my building! Of course they set the fire!"

"Just because they broke into the building doesn't mean they set it on fire."

"They. Set. It. On. Fire."

"Look, I can't renew the sessions if you don't have the reports for—."

"RENEW THE SESSIONS?!" EnVee practically screamed. "There is NO WAY I would ever accept those – _those monsters_ back as my patients! They are demons! Evil creatures spawned from nothing but cruelty!"

While Tsunade felt very proud of herself for being able to keep her composure apparently the last statement was too much for Shizune. The dark haired woman burst out laughing.

EnVee seemed to be glaring death at her.

Shizune didn't' seem to care. "D-d-de-demons!" She laughed hysterically. "E-evil!"

"They are monsters!"

Shizune sank to the floor with laughter.

Tsunade smiled slightly. "Ah, well, terribly sorry for that."

"I demand you pay for the building damages."

"As you can't prove the young shinobi did it, I wouldn't really be able to convince the council for such a thing."

"They did it!"

"I'm sorry, but it's not like I asked for you to give them sessions. You volunteered."

"YOU COULD'VE WARNED ME THEY WERE ABSOLUTE MONSTROSITIES!!"

"Shame." Tsunade cleared her throat. "Well if that is all…"

EnVee screamed and left the room in a huff.

As soon as the doctor was well out of earshot, Tsunade too fell to the floor in laughter.

The shinobi had set the doctor's entire building on _fire_. Now that was a story that would never get old.

**xXxXx**

The fourteen shinobi stood before Tsunade's desk the next day worried as to what the Hokage would say.

"Well, due to the fact that EnVee cannot muster any reports, you will not be having any more sessions…" Tsunade paused, "Well, that and she can't stand any of you."

Tenten snickered. "Did she give any examples?"

"Other than the fact that you're responsible for burning her building down, no, but she did call you all demons and monsters."

The shinobi shifted nervously at the mention of the building and Hinata turned bright red.

"_Did_ you burn down the building?"

Shizune leaned forward; obviously interested in whatever answer they might give.

"Now, Tsunade!" Temari exclaimed. "I'm appalled you would even suggest such a thing! Burn down her building…Hmph!"

"I mean really," Kankurou continued, "just because her building burned down—"

"From where we happened to be at," Tenten chimed in.

"Does not mean that we," Neji continued.

"Were responsible in any way," Shino interjected

"For the tragic" Kiba added and nudged Hinata.

"H-Horrible," She squeaked

"And terrible," Gaara continued

"Fire that took place." Lee said.

"That happened to be responsible," Sakura further explained

"For the destruction of—" Chouji continued,

"The quack's building." Naruto finished.

"Really," Shikamaru affirmed, "It was all a coincidence."

"Exactly," Ino chimed, "Just because the weird lady blames us doesn't mean it was our fault. She's got issues, I tell you."

Tsunade snorted. "I see. This is very…" She cleared her throat. "_Compelling_ proof."

"I know, right?" Ino grinned.

Tsunade leaned back. "If anything, she seems to inadvertently made you all closer."

"A common enemy makes many friends." Shikamaru mumbled.

Tsunade laughed. Oh, she had been right. This had been very amusing.

* * *

**A/N:**Ta-da! I know, this chapter took forever. I just couldn't' bring myself to write it. I don't think I like how I ended it, but it could just be that I don't quite like this storyline anymore. –shrug-. So did you guys like the ending? Or did it just suck? Be honest, I don't mind.


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